Thursday, 6 August 2015

Fake War of Words: Lifting the Lid

It’s the story the music world is talking about.

If you haven’t heard, yesterday the roof blew off the Big Marquee as the two tribute bands headlining the Brit Pop versus Rock line-up in Macosquin in a fortnight’s time got involved in a fake war of words.

As I trust you’re fully aware, the three-day live event gets under way on Friday 21 August with a Clubland night topped by Micky Modelle and Ultrabeat, before climaxing on Sunday with a tasty country music menu featuring JD Country, Ritchie Remo and Ireland’s leading Garth Brooks tribute act Jason Hughes.

But it’s on Saturday 22 August when sparks were already expected to fly as Belfast’s Oasis look and sound-alikes Roll With It go up against Bon Jovi copycats Con Jovi from Armagh.

However, when I spoke to members of both bands yesterday, the verbals swiftly began when Roll With It’s “Liam” told me cockily that Con Jovi would “cast no shadow” over the Belfast boys’ performance on what is sure to be a spectacular night. 

"Liam" - he's a rock 'n' roll star 

 “Look man, some might say that Con Jovi are half a world away from us,” speculated Liam, who said he was looking forward to lots of cigarettes and alcohol after coming off the professionally-constructed stage.  “We’ve played all around the world and, unlike the real Oasis, we’ll not fade away and plan to live forever.  We’ve got a masterplan, I’m a rock ‘n’ roll star and Con Jovi can slide away.  Come the Big Marquee Weekend, they’ll be standing on the shoulders of giants as we bask in the sunshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. D’you know what I mean?”

And d’you know what? I did.

So I put Liam’s insults to “Jon” from Con Jovi who wasted no time in hitting back, saying that his band were planning to give Roll With It “a taste of their own bad medicine.”

"Jon Con Jovi" - keeping the faith

“Hey, we weren’t born to follow,” said Jon.  “We’ll have a nice day in Macosquin and leave in a blaze of glory.  But we won’t runaway and, no apologies, Roll With It are livin’ on a prayer if they think they’re better than us.  This ain’t a love song and I say to Liam, you give love a bad name. Keep the faith.  I’ll be there for you, always, but don’t lay your hands on me or you’ll be wanted dead or live. These days life isn’t a bed of roses and you were born to be my baby. What about now?”   

Not for me to comment.  But perhaps Liam’s pretend big brother “Noel” might have some thoughts.  So I asked him and, after short volley of poetic swearing, he responded with a challenge to Con Jovi. 

“Either stop crying your heart out or go let it out!” barked Noel, before changing tack, little by little. 

"Noel" - doesn't look back in anger 

“We’ll never acquiesce so let there be love,” he said like a big hippy.  “I’m a songbird and I don’t look bank in anger.  But after the gig, Con Jovi can stand by me as I sit on a wonderwall and toast Roll With It’s victory with a champagne supernova.  Then wake up with morning glory.” 

Before hanging up, fake Noel also revealed that Roll With It are planning to travel from Belfast to Macosquin in a supersonic car.  “She’s electric,” he told me proudly.

Armed with such explosive words, I had no moral option but to tell the showbiz press and also circulate the comments on social media.  And had Twitter and Facebook been around 30 years ago for Live Aid, I suspect the reaction and pre-event hype would not have been any greater.

But unlike Wembley's Live Aid, there is still an opportunity for you attend Macosquin's Big Marquee Weekend.

Day tickets are priced at £10 for Friday and £12 on Saturday and Sunday.   A two-ticket is also available priced at £20.  You can get them from Mary Pat’s Bar, Romaya Hair Sanctuary in Coleraine or by calling Tel: 028 7034 4659. 

And if it’s a nice night we can have a whole lotta rosé.  (Sorry, that’s AC/DC).