We have a pending rodent problem in our house. Yes, Jamie wants to get a pet.
He's asked for one before and we responded first by changing the subject and, when that didn't work, by warning that all animals have rabies and bite.
But he's learnt a lot about animals since then and has seen through our dastardly plan.
Indeed, he's become something of a wildlife enthusiastic/expert.
Plus, it's perhaps a bit harsh to tell your 8-year-old animal-loving son that he can't have a pet until he leaves home in around 30 years' time.
But what pet should he go for? So I asked him tonight.
In an ideal world he said he'd like a bearded dragon. Just like this one.
Yup, it's a lizard. And that is never, ever going to happen.
"Right then," he said, "what about a squirrel monkey?"
Like this one.
"I'm not sure you're allowed to have one of those in your bedroom," I replied.
"OK. Pygmy goat?"
"No."
"In the garden?"
"Still no."
"Feral fox?"
"No."
"Sugar glider?"
"No."
"Pot bellied pig?"
"Don't be silly."
"Serval cat?"
"Wise up."
"Tarantula?"
"As if. And it's not even an animal. It's a..........tarantula. "
"Hyena?"
"Do you see me laughing?"
"Polar bear?"
"It's time for bed."
"Good night."
We'll talk again tomorrow.
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