Thursday 27 August 2009

A question of fact


It's a few days now since the last of my parent-type guests departed and I've had some time to reflect. And something in particular has been playing on my mind.

Our little man Jamie can't talk yet ("quack," according to the Collins English Dictionary, is a sound rather than a word) but, when he does, I would imagine there will be a barrage of questions coming my way. But will I have the right answers for him?

And it is important that I do as there are several "facts" passed on to me by my own father which, in later life, I discovered to be less than perhaps strictly accurate.

For example, I remember watching a football match in a big field once which was surrounded by other fields. And I asked my dad why they put nets on the goalposts. His answer was that they were to stop the goalkeepers from having to go and find the ball in one of the other fields if a goal was scored. I followed up with the observation that they had nets at Wembley too but he ignored that remark and shouted at the referee instead.

He also told me never to suck a lemon as it would poison me and never to look at car headlights on full beam as I would go blind. Permanently. Oh, and I wasn't allowed to go to the North West 200 motorbike races because I would probably get killed. (I have braved the latter countless times in my adult years and, as you may have noticed, have survived to write this rubbish).

However, leaving all of the above aside - for which no offence is obviously intended towards my father - he did come up with an absolute blinding new fact when he was here for the cricket a couple of weeks ago. And, having now had a moment to check it out, I can confirm he was correct (although, ironically, I really wish he wasn't).

Did you know that if you leave a piece of fresh liver on a plate in the fridge next to a glass of milk and return a few hours later, the liver will have physically moved towards the milk? (I really shouldn't be thinking or writing about this on an empty stomach).

But it gets even more gruesome. If the liver is fresh enough and you leave it long enough, it is actually possible for the liver to wrap itself around the glass (BLLEUUGHHH!!!)

According to some info I found on Yahoo (I never like to leave you with just half a story), "the liver is really a gland rather than an organ and, without its bile ducts, it craves moisture," hence its desire to wrap itself around the glass which contains the milk.

I'm not sure I'm going to bother with breakfast now. Still, it could be worse, it could be bedtime.

PS Let me know if you decide to try the experiment yourself because I'll tell you one more fact - I sure as hell won't be.

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