Well, I can´t say I´m not disappointed.
Sadly and despite the support of many loyal readers of this rubbish and more than 30 votes from his father who cheated, Jamie failed to make the top 100 in The Sun´s bonny baby competition.
The finalists have just been posted online and, after scrolling through the pictures twice (just in case), I´m sorry to confirm that our little man´s mug is absent.
I must admit I was preparing for the worst - I am a White after all. But you really should see some of the mingdogs who made it through. I´m naming no names but one male contestant has a head like a Weetabix. Another is even fatter than Jamie himself - imagine that.
Rather less surprising is the high proportion of Scottish children in the final. This is the country which, through sheer blinkered prejudice and the lack of anything better to do, secured victory for Leon Jackson on The X Factor and Michelle McManus on Pop Idol. I´m afraid both those jokes turned out to be on you, my Jocko friends! (Sorry, I´ve got plenty of Scottish mates so no offence intended - unless you voted for Baby Hamish McSporran from Inverness, or whatever his ****ing name was!)
Anyway, there we are.
I´ll bring you up to date on our holiday next time. But first, I´d better go and give Jamie the bad news.
NB: Q - Why was Jesus not born in Scotland?
A - Because God couldn´t find three wise man and a virgin.
Not that I´m bitter.
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