"You don't get owt for nowt," is a saying I've heard several times since moving to Yorkshire six years ago.
But, as the sign above clearly shows, there are exceptions which prove the rule.
I took the picture in Horsforth this morning as we Whites were travelling back from a very pleasant overnight stay with our friends Layla and Simon, who live not far from Otley.
Simon (nearest the camera) whipped up a veritable storm in the kitchen. In fact, his roast duck was genuinely the best I've ever tasted (but please don't tell Jamie his mummy and daddy had little duckies for tea). Also around the table were obviously Layla (furthest away), plus our mutual mates Ewen and Gillian. You already know Vanessa.
And, after dinner, the plates were cleared away and replaced by playing cards and chips.
Poker was the game and, perhaps predictably, I was the first player out. In fact, my chips couldn't have disappeared any quicker if they'd been of the potato variety and served to Vanessa Feltz with salt and vinegar.
Meanwhile, Jamie spent most of the evening sound asleep upstairs in his travel cot. But, as a special treat before bedtime, he was allowed to stroke Layla's pussy.
She's called Pino.
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