The carriage was a bit on the busy side so I had to settle for one of those "premium" seats directly opposite the toilet door.
After a short while, an animated conductor arrived to punch my ticket.
"I see he's still in there," he said to me.
"Sorry?" I replied with what I hoped was a friendly tone.
"He's been in that toilet for ages," said the conductor, pointing at the illuminated "engaged" sign on the door. "Sometimes I wonder what they do in there."
I resisted the open goal opportunity to respond to that one, and returned to my paper as he shuffled off.
But, a couple of minutes later, he was back - and this time he meant business by proceeding to bang on the toilet door.
"You've been in there long enough!" shouted the conductor. "You've got one more minute and then I'm coming in!"
"Do you think he's trying to avoid paying for a ticket?" I asked, trying to empathise with Robo-Conductor.
"He might be," he replied, "but I'm not really that bothered."
"Oh," I said enquiringly, "and why not?"
"Because I need a piss."
Exactly a minute later, and the toilet door swung open after our hero proudly produced his "special key."
There was no-one in there.
