Tonight is one such occasion so, if you're easily offended or don't like to laugh, look away now...................
Right, for those of you that remain, this is great.
Wee John was up this weekend visiting his most enthusiastic fans (Clue #1 they're small; Clue #2 they look like Vanessa).
As ever, we had many silly discussions. But by far the most amusing surrounded a new product on the market called "Veet for Men" (available in 200 ml tubes).
If you haven't heard of it - I certainly hadn't - and according to its makers, "Veet for Men" is "a quick and effective way to remove body hair leaving your skin feeling smoother for up to twice as long as shaving."
But whatever you do, don't put it on your ballbag.
If you don't believe me, read this review on the Amazon website:
"I like the clean shaven look down in my gentleman's log cabin, so for the past few years I've used a shaver. However the hair keeps growing back which means every 6 months I have to spend 20 minutes trimming again. As I'm sure you've realise this is valuable time I cannot waste. So I decided to get to the root of the problem and purchased this product.
"Probably the first thing you will notice after using this product is the pain. Although as a man I lack the required experience, I'm going to estimate that using this product is at least eleven times more painful than childbirth.
"Imagine sticking a rusty razor blade into your favourite eye, before tying your hands behind your back. Then imagine that you use the entrenched razor blade to slice open a raw onion. All the while being butt naked. This product is slightly more painful than that.
"However if we ignore the blinding, crippling and debilitating pain I should point out that this product is remarkably effective. Before, all manner of organisms great and small lived down there, now nothing can grow; not even on a cellular level. Sadly this includes my genitalia; I've spent the last four hours staring fixedly at Carol Vorderman's arse, all to no avail. My tinkywinkleton hasn't even so much as perked up, so if my review seems a bit harsh, it's only because I wanted children.
"All in all an effective and reasonably priced product - 3 Stars."
If you thought that was funny, please read this, also on Amazon:
"Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.
"I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless."
Like most people, I don't always find it easy to laugh on a Monday. But tonight I might cry myself to sleep.
