Dirty nappies? Not a problem.
Vomit down my collar? We have a washing machine (called Vanessa).
Runny noses? I've even stated sharing tissues, so relaxed have I become with snot. Or so I thought.
I say this because this morning on Radio 2, Chris Evans reported something about his experiences of fatherhood which so was so gross that I had to put my toast down.
He was talking about baby colds and how their tiny little noses often get bunged up.
But he added: "When they're really small, you have to suck the snot out yourself to allow them to breathe."
To any prospective parents out there, let me assure you that, yes, maybe occasionally, you may feel inclined to do a bit of excavating with the nail on your little finger. But sucking out snot? No!
To any actual parents who may have performed this hideous procedure when drunk, I would suggest you're much sicker than your sniffly sprog could possibly have been.
