In town with the Tories

I'm writing this in a Wetherspoon's pub in the centre of Manchester. I've never used Wireless Internet before and it seems more trouble than it's worth. But more of that another time because I know you're sitting there at home or at work dying to find out how things are going at the Conservative Party Conference.

Well, now I can put you out of your misery. Things are going OK. I hope that makes you feel better.

I didn't arrive at Manchester Central - the somewhat unimaginative new name for the GMex - until well into the afternoon yesterday after the tram I was travelling on broke down. We then all had to change onto the one behind which, obviously enough, couldn't get past the original one which conked out. (I'm no expert on trams but I do know they're not very good at over-taking - I think it's something to do with the fact they're on rails).

The first sight I saw after finally arriving at Conference was a welcome one - old-hand Conservative MP for Lichfield Michael Fabricant (below right).

I've never met the man in my life but, in my six years working in Westminster, was constantly amused by him from afar. Prior to entering Parliament, he ran a mobile disco, performing under the name of "DJ Mickey Fab". Mr Fabricant also wears a very bad blond wig and every time he stands up to speak in the House of Commons, is greeted with calls of "hair! hair!" from Labour MPs and sometimes a few from his own ranks.

After having a nostalgic chuckle at him, I went to the ba....er....caught up with some old friends and even took the rather radical step of attending a fringe meeting. It was about blogging and there wasn't much to report other than the fact that Guido Fawkes - the "renowned right-wing blogger" who I would like to think you've never heard of - got up to utter an immortal phrase:

"Twitter is shit."

And then sat down again. Credit where it's due (he's the one on the left).

Next was surely the highlight of the week if not the entire social calendar year. Yes folks, I'm talking about the Yorkshire and North-East Conservatives Conference Party. Wow.

Predictably enough, William Hague was the "turn" and gave a shouty speech which can best be summarised as follows:

• Yorkshire great
• Conservatives great
• Labour bad
• See you next year

And then they had a "disco." Indeed.

The best bit of the evening for me was bumping into my "eccentric" and ever so slightly mad old friend Dr Jason Aldiss. Jason is a vet by trade and a very special vet at that. For Jason doesn't try to make animals better. No, that would be much too dull. Jason kills them.

My association with Jason goes back three and a half years when I misguidedly stood as the Conservative candidate in Pudsey at the local government elections. I polled 2113 votes but, proving to me beyond all doubt that there is a God, still lost. Never, ever again.

As for today, I would imagine I'll be spending the rest of the day and night with a load of Tories.

Is it still only Tuesday?!