Meet Flossy and Freddie. (That's Flossy at the top, where females tend to be these days - and not before time).
They're "toilet flush lever things." I know this because I found them on eBay after Googling "toilet flush lever thing." I did fear that my description would be too technical and therefore reap no results. Thankfully I was wrong.
I needed my new friends after I flushed our toilet on Tuesday and broke the handle - or so I thought. A quick nervous inspection soon revealed that it was not the handle but, yes, the toilet flush lever thing that needed to be replaced.
And whilst I was thrilled to find Flossy and Freddie so quickly, I was less positive about my ability to install one of them. Indeed, they aren't related by blood and don't even come in twin packs. I only bought two because I was certain I'd break at least one whilst trying to ram it in.
But me of little faith.
Just look at Flossy go (handily circled).
As it turned out, skewering her on a spike was much easier and quicker than I could ever have dreamt. If that were not the case, I clearly wouldn't have managed it.
With some extra time on my hands, I sat down and made a quick list of all the things I've successfully repaired in my entire adult life.
And what was on my list?
Sadly just this.
But still, yay me. After so many years of trying, I'm officially a fully-fledged man of the house.
As I conclude my remarks on this momentous day, I think it only appropriate to direct my final words to Flossy.
Welcome to your new home, m'lady. I hope you'll be very happy.