Thursday 30 June 2016

A fortnight revisited


It's been two weeks since I last scribbled pish so I thought I'd better provide an update.

Over the last fortnight quite a lot has happened, some of which you may already be aware of.  But let's leave the trivial stuff until the end.

Above you can see Maria, Natalie, Kirsty and....er....Vanessa rowing a viking boat 10 miles across Lake Windermere for charadee.

They didn't bother to shave.  And yet never looked more horny,


Bless.


And then three of them got pissed.

 
Mothers these days.

But their kids had fun too.


Except when they were forced to pose with their brothers.


Earlier in the missing fortnight, Jamie celebrated his 8th birthday.


Vanessa baked him a cake.  Something to do with Star Wars.  It seems.


Jamie got presents.


And then Charlotte got to diss him.


What else?  Oh yes.  I attended the annual 364 Club cricket lunch at Headingley with my pal John Kettley (Is A Weatherman).


That's Colin Slater MBE, the voice of BBC Radio Nottingham, closest to the camera.  He's had a tram and a beer named after him.

Charlotte drew a picture of the Lake District, which we promise never to lose.


And Jamie and I watched proudly as Norn Iron powered their way into the last 16 of  Euro 2016, before losing gloriously to our friends from Wales.


And, oh yes, Boris Johnson and Michael Gove shafted the country they claim to love and lied us out of Europe.


Before one stabbed the other at around 9 o'clock this morning, I walked Jamie and Charlotte to school.  And I asked them what they thought about the race to be our new Prime Minister.  (I really am that boring).

Here are the key comments.

Jamie: "I don't want it to be Boris."

Charlotte: "I don't want it to be Donald Trump."

Jamie: "We might have the second ever lady Prime Minister."

Charlotte:"I hope she doesn't shout as much as the last one."

You're up to speed.        

Thursday 16 June 2016

The Whites shock the sporting world


It's match day two for Northern Ireland at Euro 2016, we kick-off against Ukraine at 5pm.  And I hope things go better for Michael O'Neill's men than they did on Sunday.  (I understand there's another game being played just before ours and good luck to whoever is playing in that).

Given Northern Ireland's disappointment against Poland, the highlight of my sporting weekend (other than the Ireland rugby team's first ever victory in South Africa) came from an unexpected source.

It was the annual fun run organised by the parents' group at Jamie and Charlotte's school and, beforehand, neither were particularly arsed about the whole thing.

But then their competitive instincts kicked-in (no idea where from) and both decided to give it a go.

First Charlotte (nearest the camera).


And then the other one.


The result?  A silver medal each for two well-earned second places.


And a packet of prawn cocktail for Charlotte who really likes crisps.

We were very proud of both of them.

Let's hope I'm equally thrilled by Northern Ireland's performance in a few hours' time.  Enjoy whichever game or games you're watching.

Sunday 5 June 2016

No half measures

Half-term is at an end and I can't decide if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

On the plus side, it has been a lot of fun - even for the kids.

Friday was my day to take the parenting lead and, after the cinema (Zootropolis, brilliant), it was off to Jump Arena for a bit of trampolining.


That's Jamie in the middle.  Of the air.

They even have a tightrope thing, although Charlotte preferred to watch from below.


Then yesterday it was off to the funfair which has rolled into Guiseley for the week.

This was us on the Waltzer.


You try telling Charlotte she's too small.

We then paid a little extra to have them imprisoned for the rest of the afternoon.


But they were  eventually released into the custody of Aunty Vicky...


...so Vanessa and I could eff off to Manchester to watch Coldplay in concert. (The best I've ever seen).


Actually, thinking about it, the end of half-term is most definitely a bad thing.

Tomorrow is Monday.