Sunday, 26 March 2017

As one door closes...

This was Jamie on Monday morning, about to head out of the kitchen door.


And this was Charlotte around an hour ago trying to find it.


But it's not there.  It's in here, replaced by a new oven.


Yes, welcome to the latest instalment of "Kitchen Update" as the transformation of our scullery continues apace.   

The big cupboard on the right houses our new fridge.  The door beside it hides our washing machine (so Vanessa tells me).


On the other side of the room, you can see our new extractor hood (I'm learning all the terms).  A new cooking thingy (OK, so I don't know all of them) will miraculously appear in the coming days, enabling me to burn stuff before the hood extracts it.  


All things being equal, the entire job will be done and dusted (another one for Vanessa) in time for my birthday on Friday. 

Personally, a crate of Guinness and a KFC bargain bucket would've made an equally good present - and been a whole lot cheaper.  

Plus, I wouldn't have to redecorate them. 

Monday, 20 March 2017

They've started - let's hope they finish

OK, so I promise not to give you a nightly update about our new kitchen because kitchens are really dull.............zzzzzzzzzzz (see).

However, on the first day, our boys (father, son plus nice electrician man) have done good.

Our old kitchen isn't with us anymore. Well, I say that. It's actually moved to the front of our house. 


As a Lego expert, even Charlotte doesn't think she'd be able to put it back together.

Meanwhile, what's left behind isn't pretty.






It looks like I might have to splash out on a second tin of paint.

Our crack (crash, bang) team return at 8am tomorrow.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

There's no Kit Kat in my kitchen, what am I gonna do?


Above on the right you can see the open door of my chocolate cupboard.  Which you'll quickly note is empty.  This is down to Vanessa.

To be fair, it's not because Mrs White is on a sudden get fat drive.

No, it's because she's cleared it out in preparation for the installation of our new kitchen.

Which is why what you can see below won't be there soon.    


In fact, the men arrive tomorrow.  One of them looks like a Hell's Angel.

The job is due to take "too weeks, love" - so hopefully they'll not still be in the way when Father Christmas comes. 

I'll keep you updated on progress.

No doubt you're already filled with just as much excitement as I am.  And that's before I'm forced to redecorate. Thrilled, that's me. 

Now then, where's my effing chocolate? 

Monday, 13 March 2017

Class 4H in residence

It's a bit quieter in the White House this evening as Jamie is away on his first school residential.

And thanks to the wonders of social media and an ever-keen headteacher, us parents can follow what's going on.

Above you can see class 4H being briefed upon arrival this morning.

And below you can see Jamie performing the crucially important job of "Chalk Boy" during a game of pool.

That photo was posted about an hour ago.

Earlier in the day, higher energy levels were required.

Jamie got to have a spin on the BMX trail, which I know he was looking forward to.

Excitement or sheer terror?  You decide.

But at least he has a helmet on.

Whether helmets were required for the group task is also a matter of opinion.  I'm not great with heights, but I reckon I would feel reasonably fairly safe at an altitude of 10 inches.    

 It's lights out at 9pm.

Thursday, 9 March 2017

Never drink and fly

Ireland are playing rugby tomorrow night and I was running short of Guinness so, first thing this morning, I went to Morrisons.

As I approached the Guinness aisle, I noticed the little green "Happy St Patrick's Day" sign you can see below.

And the same to yerself.

But then I had a shock.

In recent times, Morrisons has had a Guinness offer of 15 cans for £12.  You can't be bad to that.

However, in advance of next Friday's festivities, some Morrisons bright spark has sought to fleece Plastic Paddies (and real ones) by putting up prices.

There were no 15-packs on the shelves at all.  Instead, we had 10-packs which last week were priced at £9 but had suddenly gone up to £11.

So, in numbers terms, cans of Guinness which last week were priced at 80p (i.e. 15 for £12) were now being sold at £1.10 (i.e 10 for £11).  Yes, in YORKSHIRE.

Given my Guinness dilemma, I had no option but to pick up a pack and stomp to the self-service till swearing under my breath.

Upon arrival, I swiped it through the beeper.  BEEP!  £9 please (i.e. not £11). They hadn't changed the tills.  Oops!!!

The tide was turning.

So I ran back to the shelf and got a second pack.  BEEP!  Another £9.

That made it £18 for 20 cans - or 90p each.

Better, but I was still 10p a can down.

And then you'll never guess what.  Hanging out of the voucher machine two tills up was a voucher (what did you expect?) for £3 off which I managed to grab just a split second before the young mum with the pram.  (Shit happens).


With my £3 discount, I was down to £15 for 20 cans or 75p a can.

Yes, I know what you're thinking - and I can't help but agree.      

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Away with the Fairies


It's been a particularly dramatic week for our Charlotte thus far, with two neighbouring teeth falling out on successive days.

More positively, she twice got to invoice the Tooth Fairy -  who Charlotte thinks might be called Lorna (but isn't sure) and lives on the other side of this door in her bedroom skirting board.

Charlotte's first note read as follows.

"Dear Lorna.

"Sorry if you are not Lorna.

"How do you know when children lose their teeth?  Are you a kid?

"Love from Charlotte." 

She awoke yesterday morning to the following response.

"Dear Charlotte  

"I am Lorna.  I can sense you lost your tooth because a new fairy was born as soon as I got to Fairyland.  She's called Charlotte after you.

"We look young when we are born.  We never look old.  (I am 2,000 years old).  

"Love Lorna." 

After reading the reply, Charlotte headed to school where another tooth soon fell out.

So, before bedtime, Miss White fired off another missive.

"Dear Lorna.

"Sorry if you're not Lorna.

"I swallowed my tooth.  What is the new fairy called?

"Love from Charlotte."

This was the letter waiting for her this morning.

"Dear Charlotte.

"And yes I am Lorna and Charlotte the Fairy is with me.

"Don't worry about when you can't find your tooth. I have it now.  Well, I have what came out of it - Frances the Fairy.

"Love Lorna."

Charlotte's middle name is Frances.

And the Tooth Fairy even included a little drawing of herself alongside Charlotte the Fairy and Frances the Fairy.


Very sweet.

However, because you've read this far, I can exclusively reveal that whilst Lorna does indeed live in our house - it's not in Charlotte's wall.

She's also not as pretty as Charlotte might imagine.