Saturday, 2 May 2015

It's a BABY!!!

Unless you've been hiding under a stone since sunrise (and, to be fair, I have woken up under a stone on an occasional Saturday morning), you'll know that a new princess is now amongst us.

And I can't tell you how pleased I am that it shot out so quickly.

I like a bit of living history as much as the next sad man, but there's only so much Nicholas 'Bloody' Witchell and Kay 'Look At Me' Burley I can take - preferably none at all.

All us mere subjects know so far is that it's a girl and it's something pounds and so many ounces.  Good work Kate.

Now all we need is the name and we can get back to the washing-up.

Needless to say I was hoping for a Prince Barry.  We've never had a Prince Barry before and, in this age of equality and speaking on behalf of Barrys everywhere, I felt it was our turn.

Failing that, Alan.  Prince Alan, anyone?  No?  Maybe next time.

But it's a girl so it's girls' names we have to think about.  And here's the thing.

When I last looked, the current bookies' favourite was Princess Charlotte at 2/1, surging ahead of long-time front-runner Alice at 5/2.  Elizabeth is next at 6-1, with Victoria further back at 10/1.

Unless Prince Harry got pissed again and told a mate (something we can't rule out), the reason for Charlotte being the popular choice is that it's apparently "a feminine form of Charles."  Hmmm.  (I still remember someone once telling me that the name Jack was "short for John" so I'd believe anything).

I can obviously think of another Princess Charlotte who'd be thrilled if this rumour became a truth.

But given that she's just asked if the new Royal arrival can come to our house for tea tonight, I daren't risk another disappointment.