It's been two weeks since I last scribbled pish so I thought I'd better provide an update.
Over the last fortnight quite a lot has happened, some of which you may already be aware of. But let's leave the trivial stuff until the end.
Above you can see Maria, Natalie, Kirsty and....er....Vanessa rowing a viking boat 10 miles across Lake Windermere for charadee.
They didn't bother to shave. And yet never looked more horny,
And then three of them got pissed.
Mothers these days.
But their kids had fun too.
Except when they were forced to pose with their brothers.
Earlier in the missing fortnight, Jamie celebrated his 8th birthday.
Vanessa baked him a cake. Something to do with Star Wars. It seems.
Jamie got presents.
And then Charlotte got to diss him.
What else? Oh yes. I attended the annual 364 Club cricket lunch at Headingley with my pal John Kettley (Is A Weatherman).
That's Colin Slater MBE, the voice of BBC Radio Nottingham, closest to the camera. He's had a tram and a beer named after him.
Charlotte drew a picture of the Lake District, which we promise never to lose.
And Jamie and I watched proudly as Norn Iron powered their way into the last 16 of Euro 2016, before losing gloriously to our friends from Wales.
And, oh yes, Boris Johnson and Michael Gove shafted the country they claim to love and lied us out of Europe.
Before one stabbed the other at around 9 o'clock this morning, I walked Jamie and Charlotte to school. And I asked them what they thought about the race to be our new Prime Minister. (I really am that boring).
Here are the key comments.
Jamie: "I don't want it to be Boris."
Charlotte: "I don't want it to be Donald Trump."
Jamie: "We might have the second ever lady Prime Minister."
Charlotte:"I hope she doesn't shout as much as the last one."
You're up to speed.