Winds of change

We’ve reached the end of phase one of our road trip and it’s a case of so far, so windy.

Yesterday we scaled this monstrosity.

It was worse than it looks, especially in the teeth of gale force winds.

The prize at the end was to see this, Durdle Door.

It was a lot more impressive up close. Well worth the effort.

Then we went to nearby Dorchester to get soaked.

Although Jamie, ever the Yorkshireman, did acquire a job lot of strawberries for a pound.

Today was centred around Weymouth and, I must say, we were dead impressed.

It reminded me of a mini-Brighton. The sun even came out.

The kids made a sand version of me when I’m dead.

(Jamie’s hands are covering my “modesty,” which I appreciated).

Then Charlotte became a mermaid...

 ...with Jamie mermanning it.

Back at base...

... we had a BBQ with Jamie chefing for the very first time.

He even washed up afterwards.

Recently elected Assistant Patrol Leader by his fellow Scouts, I’m beginning to wonder if he thinks Bear Grylls can see every one of his good deeds.

Tomorrow will herald the start of a different experience and the central plank of our holiday. I’ll explain next time.

Road trip

Good morning after another torrid night in a tent.

Yes, we’ve gone camping. Again.

Not phased by Carfest North, and heavens knows why...

...we have dipped our toes back into the predictably muddy waters. 

To be fair, this trip - our road trip, as the kids have insisted on calling it - has been long in the planning.

Every family needs to spend a fortnight in the south-west coast of England, and this is our chance.

I admit it, I like a bit of foreign all-inclusive action as much as the next person. But the novelty wears off on kids as they get older. Plus, they soon begin to realise how much wine their parents have had. 

So yesterday we - well, Vanessa - drove 320 miles from Guiseley to Dorset.

We left at 0625 and had breakfast two hours later in Loughborough.  I almost went to university there and it seems a fine place.

We travelled on to Stonehenge, which doesn’t quite rock like the Giant’s Causeway. But I would say that.

Then we moved on to nearby Salisbury.

I was hoping to meet up with some old friends, but it didn’t work out. (I made that up. I just thought it would be amusing to be photographed pretending to be a spy. I’m holding Vanessa’s £1 flowers. She paid for them herself).

We took the kids to Salisbury Cathedral, a must for all tourists these days. The spire was just as magnificent as President Putin’s men described it. 

The kids had their picture taken with an infamous bench in the background (I didn’t tell them about that bit).

And had a pasty in what, for a period, was the most familiar Greggs in the country - despite being closed.

A seriously top city Salisbury, well worth a visit if you’re anywhere near.

I’m now inside our hurricane-battered tent 40-odd miles further away. Thankfully it’s still standing but it was touch and go during the hours of darkness.

Later today we’ll hang around locally, maybe hit the beach. 

Let’s see. The forecast isn’t great, but it never is. The Whites are on holiday.

CarSplash

The picture above was taken last Saturday morning, just before the sky caved in.

For the fifth straight year, we were at CarFest North, the family music festival hosted by that Chris Evans (in the cap).

It has changed a bit over the course of time.  It was originally set up to raise money for BBC Children in Need. And once you paid for your ticket, everything else - other than food and drink - was free.  Rides, exhibitions, activities - all part of the up front cost.  The idea was that there would be no haves and have nots - all kids would be able to enjoy the same experience, no matter how much money their parents had.

Unfortunately it's changed over the past 2-3 years.  They charge for most things now, whilst the ticket price hasn't changed.  But still, that's the deal and it was our choice to go.

This year's musical line-up began on a high on Friday with the great Johnny Marr plucking brilliant as he reeled off old Smiths hits. 

Away from the spotlights, the Morris Vicars were fun. 

But then the rain came.

Then some more. 

And some more.

We sought shelter in the Wall of Death.

And Jamie did some roller discoing (it's worth a look).

But, outside, the rain continued.

Hacienda Classical finished off Sunday night's proceedings in jumping style.    

But still the rain fell.

This was no one's fault, and our fellow Guiseley residents were fabulous company.  They made the weekend, without a shadow of a doubt.

And seven days on, we're all dry now.  

Catman

My mum got a kitten a couple of months ago.

A pretty black female, she called her Delilah.

Jamie and Charlotte were most impressed having "met" Delilah on FaceTime. Charlotte, in particular, was thrilled to have a new girlie chum in her life. 

That was until today when my mum called up with some news.

"She's got a penis." 

"What?!" I replied, a little shocked.

"Delilah.  She's got a penis.  Well, HE does."

"How did that happen?"

"I assume it was there all the time.  I just never thought to look.  But today she started washing it. Sorry, he started washing it."

You would never think that my mum spent a lifetime as a nurse.

Feel free to send through your suggestions for Delilah's new name and I'll pass them on.

I'm thinking Willy.

One more step

Jamie left primary school on Friday.  How the heck did that happen?!

This was him and Charlotte on Friday morning.

This was them on their first day at St Oswald's four years earlier when it became a primary.

And this was Jamie on his first day at Guiseley Infants.

It's been something of a traumatic week for the boy, as it was for all Year 6 leavers (and parents).

Everyone did a magnificent job in Tuesday evening's school production.

You can see Jamie below wearing the top hat in his role as "Headmaster 1." 

But the dreaded leavers' assembly certainly played with the emotions.  That's him on the left with two of his besties. 

Although he did get to play his guitar, which always raises the spirits

But the time to move on has come. 

Come September, it's next stop Guiseley School. 

Music man

Jamie turned 11 on Sunday.  It's almost beyond belief.

He wanted a new electric guitar and assorted accessories as presents and the family rallied round to deliver.

He even treated the Yorkshire wing to an impromptu performance after a BBQ which was predictably ended early by rain.  

The previous day, we joined other families and friends on a trip to Lets Rock Leeds, an 80s music festival in a day which featured Status Quo as the headline act. 

Jamie and the Quo have history after he saw them at CarFest North last year and rhythm guitar player Richie Malone gave him his pick.

Unbelievably, the exact same thing happened on Saturday and, as before, Jamie's souvenir is now safely mounted alongside a picture of the band in action.
   

We're off to the "big one" next Tuesday, more on that after the event. (Clue: the name of the band rhymes with beagles.  But doesn't have a "b" in it).

In the meantime, Jamie has submitted his job application to be a music teacher when Year 6 have their takeover day at St Oswald's Primary School next month.

This is what he wrote:

"As a musician myself, I love the idea of teaching a full class of children, any age, a music lesson.

"I have experience in looking after Key Stage 1 due to having a younger sibling and occasionally playing with younger ones on the field.  

"I have a good knowledge of music from the last few decades and am capable of creating an educational PowerPoint.

"I personally believe music should play a larger part in the national curriculum as music can relax the body when needed and can play a crucial part in a child's mental health.

"Though I have written this application formally, I can be fun and will do my best to have the children playing or listening to music with big smiles on their faces.

"I would also like to thank the hardworking school council for this brilliant opportunity."  

I'll let you know if he gets it.

Are there eggs in milkshakes?

As I've said before, I don't do politics on here and have no plans to start now.

However, seeing Nigel Farage being "milkshaked" yesterday took my mind back to various dicey campaign walkabouts I've witnessed in the past - and one in particular.

Whilst I have no time for Farage, he does have the right to walk down the street in safety.  His response to what happened yesterday was to blame his security team before stomping off.  Probably fair enough.

Back in 2007, William Hague - then Shadow Foreign Secretary - was in Bradford for the local elections.  On a walkabout (minus any security), a man crossed the street in front of me and extended his arm towards the star attraction.  As Hague reached out his hand to greet his "admirer," the man cracked an egg hidden in his other hand on the former Tory Leader's jacket and ran off.

Hague's immediate response was to laugh and announce: "That's why I wear a jacket!" before handing it to an aide.  Full credit to him for that.

Prior to his arrival, I spoke to the Yorkshire Post to ask if they would be covering his appearance in Bradford.  They said no but offered to use a picture in the following day's newspaper "if it's good enough."

I told Hague this at the start of his visit and asked if he would conspire with me to ensure the picture got in.

He said he was more than happy to help and posed for this shot. 

Whatever your politics, the current House of Commons is all the poorer without him. 

Derry good

I came to bed early tonight (I’m writing this on my phone) because Derry Girls didn’t win a BAFTA and I was grumpy. They missed out in the Scripted Comedy category to a show I’d never heard of, can’t remember its name and will probably never watch. (Still, well done). 

Yes, being from Northern Ireland, I’m biased. But Derry Girls does tickle me. More importantly, many people I’ve spoken to on this side of the water who’ve seen it love it every bit as much as me.

It’s been of a Derry weekend all round for me.  On Friday I saw The Undertones. (Not in the street, in an actual gig),

They were magnificent. Not a surprise, I’d seen them twice before, but they are now better than ever.

Folk I speak to always question how they can possibly perform without original frontman Feargal Sharkey, who left the band in 1983. The answer is his replacement Paul McLoone, who assumed the mantle a mere 20 years ago.

He’s magnificent. Energetic, wonderfully tuneful and as camp as a row of tents. What’s not to like?!

With his bandmates, they blasted out 25 tunes before returning for more. 

At the start of the encore, bass player Muckey Bradley said: “We just realised, we forgot one or two.”

He added  a little later: “Our bus doesn’t leave for 10 minutes. We have time for a few more!”

It was a fantastic night with The Undertones supported by the best warm-up act I’ve seen in The Neville Staple Band who rolled out the ska hits. 

But it was all about The Undertones. If you can see them, do see them. 

Unlike the cast and crew of Derry Girls this evening, you will not go home disappointed. 

Luna landing

If, like me, you're not glued to the news waiting for details of Harry and Meghan's new arrival, perhaps I can tell you about ours

Luna White.  She's a hamster.

We've not had a family pet before, at least not since joining this family.  But Charlotte has been demanding one for some time and we finally relented. 

A dog was out of the question because it needs to be walked and Charlotte doesn't do walking.

A goldfish doesn't do anything (apart from swim, obviously, and even I can do that).

Guinea pigs do even less.

I wanted cats but Vanessa remains unconvinced, at least until the autumn when I plan to make another pitch.

However, after paying a handful of visits to her friend's pet-filled house, Charlotte decided she wanted a hamster. And, after dragging our feet for a bit, there wasn't really a sound reason to deny her. 

Luna was purchased from Pets At Home after school today.  (Her cage was bought a few hours before after the one Vanessa scooped up on eBay arrived this morning in several smashed-up pieces).

So we'll see what happens next.  Probably not a lot, if truth be told.

Although Charlotte has treated Luna to a see-saw.

Maybe her friend's hamster can visit and sit on one end. 

#Winner

I've just won a competition (I know!)

We've attended CarFest North, the Chris Evans-fronted family festival, for the last few years and have tickets to return in July.

They've been running a competition for past attendees to share their stories and pictures in the quest for a goodie-bag.  And I've just been declared the week 2 winner!  Needless to say I'm dead excited (such moments are few and far between when you're 47).

My story was as follows:

"Last year my wife Vanessa and I took our 9-year-old son Jamie and 7-year-old daughter Charlotte to CarFest North for the fourth successive year.  We've always had a great time but something particularly special happened at the 2018 event. 

"Jamie had started learning the guitar and I told him all about Status Quo - the first band I ever saw live in concert back in 1986 – who were booked to play CarFest North. 

"When they came on stage, Jamie was loving their performance and was bouncing up and down in the front row, to the delight/amusement of seasoned Quo fans around us. Someone else who noticed Jamie was the band’s rhythm guitar player, Richie Malone, who came across to our side of the stage to acknowledge Jamie’s enthusiasm.

"At the end of one song, he pointed at Jamie and threw his plectrum towards my son. It landed just in front of us but someone else tried to claim it. The crowd in the immediate vicinity quickly made clear that it was meant for Jamie and the plectrum was happily handed over, allowing Jamie to wave it back at Richie to say thanks. He now has it mounted in his bedroom together with a picture of Richie taken during that performance. 

"Jamie’s guitar playing has really taken off since then and we’ve got tickets to see Status Quo play in Leeds later this year. It’s all thanks to CarFest North and, as a family, we can’t wait to return to Bolesworth Castle once again in July!"

Cringey, I know, but true nonetheless.

I'm now off for a celebratory snifter to the sounds of Status Quo.