He's not, though. He's more of a responsibility.
However, like other great men and women who have graced this planet down the centuries, I've taken the decision to do what is right and to help the little person. Well, one little person.
And if that means putting up with what is bound to be a very long weekend of pointless banter interspersed with periods of awkward silence, then so be it.
And...errr...well...Happy Birthday, Wee John. I suppose.
PS You're buying.
