Tuesday, 1 April 2014

April Fool?

Dear readers, I'm afraid I owe you an apology. 

This morning I announced here that Vanessa I were booked to appear on a brand new series of Mr & Mrs

With deep regret and a heavy heart, I must now advise you that this was not true.

My behaviour was unbecoming of someone with my peerless standing in the community and knowledge of the world (I've even been to Wales). 

It has also brought personal shame on me and reflected embarrassment on my blonde family, to whom I also say sorry.

In truth, I thought none of you would fall for my immature April Fools' Day prank.

It would, of course, be wrong of me to name names given the humiliation that this would heap on those involved. So I will.

I was especially surprised to see that Rachel Phillips of all people was first to fall for my shallow wheeze. Especially as it's a mere five years since her entire family circle believed me when I wrote that Jamie was lined up to be the next Milky Bar kid. Rachel was soon followed by Lesley Hunter, Jen Trohear, Layla Painter and Vicky Galbraith.  The parade of thrilled ladies just kept getting longer.

Enter the Humphreys family.  Gareth was the first man to go under (with Kris Brook closely on his tail). And Gareth's a very bad man.  This morning he told Mrs Humphreys - Maria to you and me - that there was a message for her to call Mr Lyons.  She did so.  A man from the Yorkshire Wildlife Park answered. He advised that no one by the name of Mr Lyons worked at the Yorkshire Wildlife Park. Although they do have lions. Shortly afterwards, Maria read my blog and took to Facebook to convey her excitement at our impending appearance on national television. (I should add that Maria has her own blog - Girlrepurposed - which I would strongly encourage you to read.  It's much better than this shite.)

So that's been my day.

Before I go, it would be remiss of me not to pass on warmest congratulations to my Celtic cousin Dylan Lloyd Parry on his good fortune at winning the National Lottery, which he revealed on Facebook. You couldn't make it up.