Jamie was away on a sleepover last night (thanks Kris and Kate) and Vanessa was out doing some womanly bendy stuff, leaving me to spend some "personal time" with Charlotte. And it was fun.
Thankfully it was also a little less "personal" than the last occasion we were in sole proximity to each other, on Saturday morning.
We'd been to see Rio 2 3D at the cinema and were about to head in the direction of McDonald's.
Jamie was there too and decided he needed a toilet stop. We headed into the gents and Master White grabbed a cubicle. Never one wishing to feel left out, Miss White decided that she too wanted to have a try so trundled into the adjacent shitbox which was also free, accompanied by me.
She couldn't "go" in the end. But she took so long that I then needed a number one of my own. So I, you know, readied, aimed and prepared to fire.
But just as the trigger was about to be pulled there was a shout.
"Why are you doing that?!"
It was Charlotte who remained locked in the cubicle with me.
I turned my back on her and prepared for my big moment once again.
"Daddy! What is that? Why is that? What is why is that?! Daddy!"
There was nothing else for it but to uncock my weapon, reholster and leave - really quickly towards McDonald's.
Nothing further was said.
Last night's bedtime story was, thankfully, much less traumatic.