We've been having house disasters in recent weeks.
We had a new bathroom put in, which is great, but for two reasons.
The first is that I'm a particularly unskilled/impatient decorator and am being forced to return to the scene yet again later today to do some touching up.
To illustrate why, here's how the wall currently joins the ceiling.
With the greatest respect to The Greatest, I suspect Muhammad Ali could probably have done a neater job.
The second bathroom difficulty is that, two days in, Vanessa managed to break the shower curtain door thingy, meaning the man has to come back tomorrow.
More positively, our toilet now has individual pee and poo buttons, which pleases Jamie greatly.
But back to the bad news. We've been experiencing problems with our kitchen lights over the past couple of months; "lightmares," if you will.
Now, what do you think this is?
Nope? Would it surprise you if I said it was actually our kitchen ceiling? It would? Well, tragically, it is.
To cut a long saga involving six electrician visits and two sets of men short, the fault was eventually traced to a cable which could only be reached by sawing a big hole in said kitchen ceiling. Obviously. We are the Whites after all. And in gaining a nice new hole, we lost £215 in charges. And that's before I work out how I'm going to make our ceiling look beautiful again. My current thinking involves a box of Elastoplast and some Tippex.
So, that's what's been going on in our house. I trust your present home life is significantly less dramatic or costly.