Unless you actually have a life, you'll probably be aware that today is Black Friday.
And I'll be honest with you, I'm still not entirely clear what that means.
I know it's an American thing, certainly, coming on the day after Thanksgiving. I know it has something to do cheaper TVs. And here in the UK, it seems to involve lots of people in tracksuits punching each other.
It was with all of this in mind that this morning I went out for a run and chose to waddle past Asda, which I know has played host to some of the best Black Friday scraps since the British dawn of the phenomenon.
And here was the scene outside.
As you can see, not too busy after all. So I thought I'd pop in to see what all the fuss was about. When I reached the man in the yellow, luminous jacket, he told me I'd have to join the queue.
"But there is no queue," I gently informed our hero.
"No sir, but there was one at 5 o'clock this morning," he said.
"Right. But there isn't one now. Can I go in please?"
"Certainly, sir. Once you've joined the queue."
"There isn't one."
"You have to follow line of where the queue was."
"So you want me to walk through all those barriers when the door is just behind you."
"That's right, sir."
So I did, I really did.
And what did I find behind the magic door? Lots of TVs available at their normal price. And Terry's Chocolate Oranges on offer for £1.
After brief consideration, I chose to leave empty-handed, mainly because I had no money on me anyway.