Thursday, 24 September 2015

Pet hates

The White family is set to expand in number.

Yes, we're thinking about getting a pet.

In truth, neither Vanessa nor I want to tread this rocky path. After years of nappies and knocked-over potties, it remains a relief that the constant smell of poo has finally gone.

But Jamie has been piling on the pressure.  And as much as we've tried to put him off, he's become rigidly unputoffable.  Plus, as ex-childhood pet owners ourselves, it does seem a bit harsh to tell him that he can never have one himself.

So tonight we had a family meeting to discuss what he/we might get.

A dog was swiftly ruled out.  Too much effort required.  And Charlotte is convinced it will eat her.  Not going to happen.  The end.

I've always had a soft spot for cats, but Vanessa has put her Converse down.  She thinks they're evil. I could point out that this situation would never have happened if we'd had a cat. I got him in the end, followed by another five.  But the lady's not for turning.

A hamster?  "Too boring," declared Jamie.

A gerbil? "It's just like a hamster," noted Charlotte.

A guinea pig?  "No," grumped Jamie.

Charlotte said she'd quite like a pet fish.

"What kind of fish?" I enquired.

"A cod," she replied.  "Or maybe a salmon.  We could call her Sally."

At least there wouldn't be a cat around to eat it.

The meeting concluded with the passing of a unanimous resolution to visit the local pet shop for a browse.  A rabbit is now a slight favourite in the betting stakes.  But I'm not yet convinced.  I don't trust rabbits. They hear everything with their big floppy ears and are notoriously indiscreet.

I'll keep you informed.