Monday, 11 July 2016
Super fly guy
24 hours on from the camping weekend and there's been a problem. Well, problems. Insect bites, loads and loads of insect bites.
To be fair, both Vanessa and I were aware of this yesterday morning when we woke up covered in lumps. But others seem to have appeared since. How does that even happen? Anyway, it has and now I'm thinking of investing in "Him & Hers" bells.
But at least I have got one kick - OK, swipe - out of this itchy situation.
As we were unpacking the car yesterday afternoon, three flies managed to make their way in through our back door. And with new bites being discovered seemingly by the minute, I wasn't in the mood for pushy, insect visitors.
I managed to deal with two fairly swiftly. But the third managed to outmanoeuvre me several times, making me very angry.
After more than an hour and on the verge of a mental breakdown, I took Jamie into the bathroom for his shower and closed the door. And, magically, there were three of us present; Jamie, me and Mr Fly.
I quickly shut the window and told Mr Fly that whilst I had plenty of time, he didn't.
Which brings me to my - and Mr Fly's - conclusion.
Rather than thrash about wildly, I took my time, hand towel in, er, hand. Before I struck. And here's the best bit.
I caught him at head height (mine not his), sending him spinning ground wards. But he didn't hit the ground. Nope, he landed in the toilet with a little fly splash.
Snarling like a crazy person, I then gave him a little wave, said goodbye and presser the flusher - to Jamie's cheers.
Yes, I might be covered in bites but a win is still a win.