Portmagic plus

I've been lying very low to the ground since returning from our annual summer jaunt to Northern Ireland.  Well, I've been in bed sick for a lot of the time and that's fairly low to the ground.

Man flu.  Worse, probably.  But I'm not one for complaining (COUGH!)

Thankfully I'm now close to being back in the game so on we go.  Bravely. (Seriously, I'm such a trooper. COOUUGGGGHHHH!)

That's Jamie and Charlotte at Water World in Portrush a few days ago, together with their big cousin Katie.  They've gone there every summer for the past few.

The picture below was taken last year, and haven't they grown since?! (Answer: Yes, Barry).

Sadly last week was likely to be their final trip as the local council plans to close the place.    

But countless other leisure options will remain.

This was Katie and Jamie on the Ghost Train at Barry's last August.

What a "brave" boy,

Charlotte joined them this time.

No, really.

I promise.

She really is in there.

To be fair, Jamie was much more courageous on the Big Dipper which he's finally big enough to board.

Indeed, I had my first go in 25 years.

And credit where it's due.  I only sobbed just a little.

Charlotte also manned up too by going on the up-and-down thingy.

Although she did appear to regret her decision.

Elsewhere on the trip, we went to a farm,

To begin with, the petting Portakabin was everything you might expect. 

Until Jamie got his big snake out.

Bleugh!!!

But it wasn't all about the kids,  Mrs White and I had a couple of nights out too.

Neptune and Prawn - the newest addition to the Ramore complex - instantly became our new favourite restaurant.   

(Agreement between us on such matters is not normal form, which tells you just how good it is). 

And we even finished up with a touch of the Caribbean at the nearby Atlantic Bar.

Northern Ireland truly has everything these days.

Needless to say, it also has Johnstons Bar which recently-appointed Northern Ireland Minister Kris Hopkins took the opportunity to visit.

You meet all sorts in there.

But back to the real kids.  

They had tremendous fun and were very sad to leave.

Our flights are already booked to see in the New Year.

Box clever

Yesterday we returned from almost a week in Northern Ireland and were immediately handed a problem.

I'd ordered a couple of bits from Amazon for Jamie for the forthcoming rugby season. However, aware that we'd be away, I asked for them to be left with our next door neighbours.

What I hadn't realised was that they were about to go away too. 

When we returned from our jaunt, I found a note from them advising that the parcel had been passed on to another neighbour.  The note gave her name but it meant nothing to me. So what to do? 

And then it came to me.

To their pleasant surprise, I invited Jamie and Charlotte to go into the front garden and have a water fight. And crucially, I insisted that they made as big a spectacle of themselves as they could and as much noise as they could manage. 

Our mystery neighbour appeared with the magic box within 20 minutes.

I truly am a genius. 

I'm going to need a bigger gloat

We're not long back from a long weekend in North Yorkshire.  And I have returned as a serial killer.

The central purpose of our extended family trip was to join a major 80th birthday celebration for Vanessa's aunt Kate, in yellow.    

And it was great.  Charlotte, in particular, had much fun with girlie cousins from Malaysia and America who she'd not previously met.

But it was a boy adventure which stood out best for me.

We went to Kilnsey Park Trout Farm for a spot of fishing.

And you'll never guess what.  I caught some trout - three of them to be precise - and we ate them for tea.

This is Tommy.

He'd had a rough day.  Terry and Tabatha were just as tasty and went down well.

 
So have I found my hidden skill?  Sadly not.  I had to ask a teenager to kill and unhook each of my fish because I felt sorry for them.

  
 But still, it was a weekend to remember for all the right reasons.  Unless you were a fish.

Field of dreams

Greetings, dear friends, and let me begin by saying how delighted I am not to be sleeping in a tent again this evening.

Yesterday we returned from CarFest North in leafy Cheshire, all in aid of Children In Need.  And it was truly magnificent, no question about it.

Charlotte high-fived Pudsey Bear.

 

Later, Jamie and Charlotte properly met him and his lush Blush.

 

Charlotte hung out with the Mad Hatter and the March Hare.

Jamie cuddled up to the real (former Top Gear host) Chris Evans, albeit whilst His Gingerness was dressed as a gorilla.

Charlotte posed with an Oulton Park race track marshal pretending to be a snowman.

Both got to meet the pretend cast of the latest Star Wars movie, as Jamie grasped a giant snake.

They got to try out Danger Mouse's car.

 

Charlotte drove a real car.

And Jamie rode a speeding motorbike.

We all got to eat popcorn in a brand new yellow Jeep...

...whilst watching a drive-in movie.

And then there was the music.

Lots and lots of music.

The Proclaimers were good.

But the Corrs were the best for Charlotte and me.

Me even more so when Caroline came out from behind the drums.

I love Caroline.

And it wasn't just musicians on stage.

That's compere Chris Evans in the middle, having chosen to stop acting the gorilla.

 
Even 64-year-old Mr Motivator appeared, to get jiggy.

The general crowd highlight was when Faithless took to the stage to spark off a bout of middle-aged raving.  I don't have a picture as I was also too busy making a fool of myself, but you can watch the "action" here.

Honestly, it was like the Thriller video.

The opposite to a highlight was when I joined the other Whites in climbing up that massive inflatable obstacle you can see below, before plunging into a bathful of soap suds.  

I'm remain hopeful that my shoulder isn't actually broken and I've got away with severe tendon damage.  Missing out on selection for the Rio Olympics no longer seems so bad.

But what a privilege it was to be part of something just a little bit special.

Albeit in an effing tent.

Two trimmers in the hand are worth more than a bush

I've not had a good night. And it's all because of this.

Yes, it's our big hedge.

I had a go at cutting it last year but things did not end well.

In fact, they ended just as soon as I cut through the power lead of my electric trimmer.

Making matters worse, I thought I managed to blow something in our electrics and had to get a man out.  He charged me a tenner for turning the trip switch back to "on."

That was last April and I stubbornly chose not to trim the hedge again, until tonight that is.

Our neighbour came round the other day to ask what plans I had for it this year.  I proudly informed her that - on a whim - I'd just invested in a new trimmer and was happy to cut her side too.  She went away seeming satisfied.

After tea, I went into her garden to begin my man work.

Ten minutes later, this happened.

 
Yup, sliced right through the cable of my brand new weapon. Again.

Honestly.  You couldn't f***ing make it up.

At least I knew what to do with the trip switch - I was connected to our electric supply via an extension lead - after returning home with my tail between my legs.  

I think I'll just go to bed now.  

HRH Prince Barcroft

One of the things I love about Facebook is that, every once a while, someone or something from the past unexpectedly appears.

It happened to me a few days ago when this photo was posted.  I'd not seen it before.

The picture was taken in Macosquin on 12 July 1965 and the man on the left is my dad, Barry Snr, aged 29.  

Here he is close up.

I showed the photo to Jamie and Charlotte earlier tonight and asked if they knew who it was.

Without taking a breath, Jamie said: "Is it the Duke of Edinburgh?"

So, so close. 

First runner-up

It's that time of the year when teachers clear out their classrooms by sending the kids home with their workbooks.

And there are often gems hidden inside.

My favourite relates to Charlotte's heroic second place in the school fun run last month.

This is how her teacher, Mrs Smith, recorded the historic achievement.

Charlotte has brought a medal in from home.

She was part of a children's fun run at Nunroyd Park at the weekend.

When I asked her about it she said:

"I runned really hard and I came behind the first person."

"So you came second?"

"Yes."