Thursday 10 December 2009

Here we go again

Jamie began today by doing a Morris dance using two (clean) nappies. His 50% English heritage is really beginning to worry me. (Thankfully, his Christmas visit to Northern Ireland is getting closer by the day and, hopefully, we can get him straightened out then).

Talking of days, we were told last night that we are about to be without gas for four of them - beginning tomorrow. So this means no gas cooker, no central heating and no hot water. Excellent.

The picture above is the current view from outside our front door. We were informed some time ago that the latest bunch of cowboys to park their horses on our road would have to turn off our gas supply for a brief period to replace the mains pipe. Not good, but these things happen (to us).

We then received another letter yesterday to say that any time the gas was turned off, it was "always" turned back on again within 24 hours. But then customer services bint Laura got in touch.

She first explained to Vanessa that, because we lived on a main road, the "always" part of the letter didn't apply to us. (I've "always" thought that the word "always" was as categoric as you could get. But it appears I've "always" been wrong - thanks for putting me right Laura).

She then said that our gas would be turned off after lunch tomorrow and would not come back on until some point on Sunday. Again, we weren't happy but, over recent months, we've got kind of used to being treated like animals.

But, on the way home last night, I called in to see my large-forearmed and top man neighbour Barrington to see what he made of the whole affair. And Barrington had a very interesting new piece of information. Laura had spoken to him to say that our mains supply would not now be turned back on until Monday afternoon, rather than Sunday. And why, pray tell?

Because the contractors had decided to take Sunday off.

Vanessa's due to speak to Laura again around about now to ask why she lied to her yesterday. Meanwhile, I have placed the matter in the hands of local councillor and Conservative Parliamentary Candidate for Pudsey Stuart Andrew who, I know, will do what he can for us. But it promises to be a really "fun" weekend. (I've decided to employ Laura's rules on the use of the English language - i.e. if "always" doesn't always mean "always," then "fun" doesn't "always" mean "fun." If you're confused by that, then feel free to give Laura a call on 07778 048008 and I'm sure she'll be very happy to offer an explanation).

By the way, I've just seen the weather forecast and it's due to freeze in Yorkshire on Saturday night/Sunday morning. But at least the contractors (and Laura) will be nice and warm.

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