Bad Dad

Sometimes - quite a lot of the time, in fact - I am an absolutely useless father.

And last night was but the latest example.

Vanessa was on an overnight trip to London (she calls it "work") so I was in charge of "the boy." And with the football on, I had a plan which essentially would result in Jamie going to sleep slightly earlier than normal and me sitting in front of the telly by 7.45 (i.e. kick-off time).

All was going well to begin when I got him off at around 7.25, before shooting off in the direction of the fridge (me not him). But within a couple of minutes, I heard a shriek from his room: "DADDY!!""

I went back, settled him down once again, got him off to sleep, left the room and: "DADDY!!"

This went on and on - maybe six, seven times - with me getting more and more irritated, and Jamie getting more and more upset.

Eventually, at around 8.25 (so almost half-time then ) I shouted at him very loudly and ordered him back to his pit.

The strain of the previous hour had exhausted me, but him too and, as he stretched himself out - finally, finally - he looked as if he would be down for the night.

A couple more minutes passed and I made to leave, hopefully to catch the start of the second half, when I heard Jamie whisper something in my direction, eyes half-closed.

I went over to him.

"What was that, son?" I enquired sympathetically.

"Sorry, Daddy," whimpered White Junior. "Sorry, Daddy. Sorry, Daddy."

You could have knocked me down with a feather and, without delay, my anger disappeared and my immense pride in my boy soared through the roof.

And what was my response, given that I had spent the previous hour and a bit trying desperately to get him to do what he has about to do - i.e. go to sleep?

I put my mouth down to his ear and whispered with a smile: "Do you want to come downstairs to watched the football?"

He hauled himself up straight, rubbed his eyes and cried out: "YEAH!" and we were off.

I eventually got him down for the night at around 10.15 after we'd watched the tail end of the Scotland game.

But I am a disgrace.