Meet Tyrone. He is, well, was a turkey. And he grew up in Northern Ireland.
As his packaging proudly declares, Tyrone described himself as a British turkey, highlighting the fact that the pro-Union flow from Northern Ireland to Great Britain now extends much further than students, young professionals and contestants on The Apprentice.
I am genuinely sorry that Tyrone isn't here "in mind" to savour what I have in store for him on Christmas Day. (Thinking about it, his mind is probably lying in a bucket somewhere near Ballymena). But I will seek to give him a good send off in 72 hours' time.
Coincidentally, Tyrone is not the only individual in our house who has lost their mind.
This is what Vanessa has just served up for the kids' tea.
I'll get her another drink in a second. Not that she needs it.
