I want to make a public statement of thanks to actress Emma Thompson. (She may be a avid reader of this blog. Alternatively, she might not. But it's all I've got in the locker).
I do so because yesterday she made a potentially gruesome personal situation rather funny.
To explain, I've had problems with yet another tooth. So much so that, last month, Miss Shitt - my Leeds-based dentist - said it would soon have to come out. That moment arrived at precisely 3.30 yesterday afternoon when I climbed into the big chair to meet my fate.
Now, having had plenty of experience of these situations for reasons I'll not bore you with, I was quite relaxed about the whole thing. But, to her credit, Miss Shitt was still kind enough to ask if there was anything she could offer to ease my impending discomfort.
I asked for six pints of Guinness. She said she didn't have any in.
So I asked if she'd turn the radio up.
"Of course," she replied. "Why?"
"Because I don't like the sound of the root fracturing when you pull it out," I explained. "Even Steve Wright is more fun to listen to than that."
Miss Shitt dutifully obliged.
But here's the thing. 'Great Show' Steve's guest of the day was........yes, Emma Thompson (just wanted to check if you were still with me).
Now, I like Emma Thompson and, indeed, was reminded of why when she appeared on The Graham Norton Show over the weekend. She's more than a touch mad and certainly very funny, a combination that always works for me.
And so it was yesterday afternoon, as her voice blasted out of Miss Shitt's radio, that efforts to yank my poisoned tooth out of my head had to be frequently halted - to allow me to laugh out loud. Twice, blood was wiped from my chin.
So, if you're a nervous dental patient, let me offer you some advice.
Next time you're going in for a filling, a bit of root canal surgery or an extraction by way of metal pliers, don't worry about having your partner or your mum or a priest with you. Have Emma Thompson lined up in your headphones.
Next time you're going in for a filling, a bit of root canal surgery or an extraction by way of metal pliers, don't worry about having your partner or your mum or a priest with you. Have Emma Thompson lined up in your headphones.