London Whites

Good morning and welcome to Retford, which is somewhere between Leeds and that London.  

The reason for our current location is that we Whites are indeed headed to that London on a half-term jaunt.  The jury is as yet unable to reach a decision on whether it can be described as a "break." Speaking on behalf of Mrs White and myself and fully conscious of the presence of our children, I suspect not.

To be fair, her and me must accept much of the blame for the lack of likely downtime over the next two-and-a-bit days.  Because yes, dear friends, we're packing a lot in. 

And we're starting as we foolishly planned to continue. For example, upon arrival at King's Cross, we have less than an hour to get across the city to board that London Eye. After quickly checking into our downmarket digs, Covent Garden is next on the list before dinner in Chinatown. 

Intriguingly, it has been rumoured that Uncle Wee John will be joining us at that point, which should be fun - if the rumours are true.

It's an early start tomorrow with a tour of the Palace of Westminster due to get underway at 9.15. 

After that, we're splitting up on gender lines. Jamie and I are going on a boys' trip to the Cosmonaut exhibition at the Science Museum. Meanwhile, Vanessa has agreed to act as lady-in-waiting whilst Princess Charlotte embarks on a pilgrimage to stand outside the home of the other Princess Charlotte and have a go in her local (posh) playground. (Apparently there isn't a smashed bottle or an empty Special Brew can to be seen. Fancy that).

Other activities will follow, including a visit to a child friendly pub (yet to be identified). And we'll end proceedings with the inevitable trip to Hamley's "which we'll only go to if you BEHAVE!!!"

Vanessa really should cut me some slack once in a while.

Weekend over, moving on

What an awful day.

Seriously.  Ireland lost in the Rugby World Cup (depriving me of the opportunity to misbehave for the next two weekends).  Then Scotland were cheated out of it in their own quarter-final.  And, crushingly, Daniel O'Donnell was ushered off the set of Strictly Come Dancing.  The shame of it all.

I'm not sure how I'll cope, although I have decided to have a drink as I consider potential responses.

Whilst I have you, last night - with me in sole parent charge -  went well.

Vanessa told me to feed them right/healthily.

Which I believe I did.

And then I left them to watch Strictly as I surveyed the All Blacks next door.

      
Poor Daniel had it coming.

At least our two got something out of it.

Goodnight.

Tables turned - tummy full

Good evening friends and I hope your weekend is set fair.

At this early stage, I'm feeling surprisingly positive about mine - despite the odds being against me.

My little jaunt off to Cardiff last weekend is being repaid as Vanessa has this afternoon headed across to the Lake District armed with a magnum of Prosecco.  (She can tell you the rest).  And as far as our children's development between now and Sunday is therefore concerned, I'm in charge.

Well, I say that. Jamie is actually in absentia this evening, on a sleepover - and no doubt having much more fun than I can provide.

So for one night only, it's just Charlotte and me.

Needless to say, Vanessa left me clear instructions - with little expectation that any of my objectives would be delivered.  Top of the list was to make sure him and her eat properly.

And I'm thrilled to report an unexpected development.

I told Miss White she could have whatever she wanted for tea.  Anything at all.  Totally up to her.  As long as she ate up.  I wasn't arsed.  But please eat up.

And in what can only be described as a wasted opportunity on her part, she chose macaroni cheese in Morrisons' cafe. (She's from Yorkshire)

Voila.

But here's the thing.  She fulfilled her brief.

If you're watching Vanessa, MEH!!!!!!

A great start for Princess Charlotte, even if I do say so myself.  Let's hope she doesn't turn into a pumpkin before Sunday.

And shortly before tea time, a game of rugby broke out

Well, I made it back from Cardiff after a sporting experience I've not seen the like of before.  80,000 madsters cheering loudly under the roof of the greatest purpose-built rugby stadium in the world.  And Ireland won.  Other than nasty injuries to several heroes on the field, what was not to like?

The fun began on Saturday when I met up with my pal Daniel and five of his ex-work colleagues from the European Commission in Brussels.  There was a Dane, a Frenchman, an Italian, an Austrian and the inevitable Irishman.  All very different and brilliant to a man.

We even went to a disco.

I didn't dance, obviously.

Then to the game on Sunday, starting with the pre-match warm-up in the Walkabout bar.  (I had kangaroo and chips for lunch.  When in, er, Cardiff).

Honestly, some of the sights.

And then we made our way to the ground.

With a few others.

Who weren't all Irish fans.

I mean, really.

And there was plenty of French support inside the stadium too.

This monsieur was sitting two up from me.

Quackers, I know.

And after Ireland's well-deserved victory, the party got truly underway.  I have no idea who those people were, but they were having fun too.

And them.

And them.

It was a genuine privilege to be part of it.  Memories to last until the next time.

A Whiter shade of Gold

Following on from Cllr White's recent electoral success, now Charlotte's got in on the act.

Today her mother and I were invited into school to see Little Missy receive her Gold Award at the end-of-week Celebration Assembly.

Her achievement?  

And I quote:

"Super behaviour and looking after her things really well.  A great start to Reception!" 

Interviewed in front of the whole school, Deputy Headteacher Mr Sheppard probed Charlotte about what sort of  "things" she'd been so skilled at looking after.

"Sort of everything," she replied nonchalantly.

There's no flies on her (unlike our car bonnet).

I've (NOT) been a Wild Rover for many a year

So, how's your Rugby World Cup going?

Not brilliantly I would imagine if you're from Uruguay, Fiji, Canada, Tonga, Samoa, Namibia or any of the other nations either out or about to go out of the tournament.  Such as England.

Yes, the dear old chariot came off the rails.

At least the England squad will have a good view of the quarter-finals.

(OK, you may have seen that pic already but, come on, top comedy!)

After the recent thrill of the competition coming to Leeds and the opportunity to watch two games, I still have one more live date on my personal Rugby World Cup fixture calendar.

Ireland take on France in the Millennium Stadium, Cardiff on Sunday afternoon in the Pool D decider, with the unfortunate loser forced to face the All Blacks.  And I'll be there.

Yup, I head down on Saturday morning, arriving just in time to watch Wales play Australia on a random pub telly.   Then my chums and I will have bit of a night out in Cardiff city centre before bedding down for the evening in our cheap hotel.

And the following day/night, it gets really interesting/unpredictable.  The game won't be over until around 6.30, too late for me to get a train back to Leeds.  And there are no hotel rooms available on Sunday.

My friends have booked themselves into somewhere in Bristol, leaving shortly after the final whistle.  But there's no way I'm missing out on all the post-game fun.

I've therefore booked myself onto a train leaving Cardiff at 4.35 on Monday morning, arriving in Leeds (via Manchester) at 9.15am, ready for a day's work.

I reckon a greasy kebab and a strong coffee at around 3.30 should see me right.

But what happens between leaving the stadium and getting that kebab is anyone's guess.  It's about as much excitement as you can get when you're 43½. 

I'll tell you what I can when/if I get back.

Meet Councillor Jamie White

Jamie's been elected to his school council.

As someone who's been involved in politics for almost 20 years, I doubted his wisdom when he came home last week and announced his intention to stand.  It's a rough old business and, as a 7-year-old, I thought he might be better off chasing a football as opposed to chasing votes.

But the boy was not for turning.

So, on Monday evening, we worked on his hustings speech.

This is what he said:

"I am friendly with everyone in my class and would work very hard for them.

"I am confident when speaking in public.

"I like my new school and want to make it even better.

"Please vote for Jamie White!"

And his classmates did, placing him top of the poll.

He headed off for his first meeting this morning, already armed with a big idea.

And he gets free biscuits.

Thankfully his newly-acquired power and status haven't gone to his head.

I'd give it about a week.

The Rugby World Cup comes to town

The Rugby World Cup rolled into Leeds this weekend.  And it was magnificent.

The fun began at Aireborough Rugby Club on Friday evening when the entire USA squad called in to say hello.

And nothing was too much trouble for them.

At times they seemed even more excited than the kids, who felt like they were walking on air.

They won a lot of friends and, I suspect, stole a few hearts while they were at it.  Absolute respect.

The first of the weekend's two games was on Saturday, when Italy took on Canada at Elland Road, the home of Leeds United.

The fun began before we left Guiseley when Jamie met some travelling Italian fans.

Joined by my rugby mad Kiwi friend Hayden and in a first for me, we had a pic taken with a man-sized rugby ball.

Before this walked off the train from Edinburgh.

Yes, everyone has a pal named Dave and this one is mine.  

Despite the garb, he's actually from Northern Ireland.  We went to school together and I'm a proud but poor godfather to his son, Huw.  

He wore his kilt for the entire weekend, assisted by Sudocrem.  

Italy were fortunate to triumph in an entertaining game.

Most importantly, Jamie loved it - giving me an excuse to get to more rugby matches in the future.   

Dave and I were back again on Sunday to see Scotland take on our new American friends.  

Thankfully, Dave blended into the crowd much better than the previous day as Scotland won by a distance.

  

Then it was off to the Fan Zone to see Ireland stuff Romania on the big screen.

And, in a final treat, we bumped into Scottish rugby hero turned administrator John Jeffrey. 

He's a bit of a legend, old John.  A farmer by trade, he once expressed his one regret about the location of his land on the Scottish borders: "If I stand on a hill I can see England."

He also famously received a six-month ban from the sport after he and England's Dean Richards damaged the one of the oldest trophies in sport, the Calcutta Cup, after playing football with it in Edinburgh city centre.    

A terrific end to a wonderfully memorable weekend.  

And, sticking with the rugby theme, there's one more thing.  Yesterday my old team mate and captain Mark Buchanan posted a picture on Facebook which made me feel old and nostalgic in equal measure.

It's the 1991 Northumberland Colts County Cup Winners, Newcastle Gosforth RFC.  We had a great night.   

Pet hates

The White family is set to expand in number.

Yes, we're thinking about getting a pet.

In truth, neither Vanessa nor I want to tread this rocky path. After years of nappies and knocked-over potties, it remains a relief that the constant smell of poo has finally gone.

But Jamie has been piling on the pressure.  And as much as we've tried to put him off, he's become rigidly unputoffable.  Plus, as ex-childhood pet owners ourselves, it does seem a bit harsh to tell him that he can never have one himself.

So tonight we had a family meeting to discuss what he/we might get.

A dog was swiftly ruled out.  Too much effort required.  And Charlotte is convinced it will eat her.  Not going to happen.  The end.

I've always had a soft spot for cats, but Vanessa has put her Converse down.  She thinks they're evil. I could point out that this situation would never have happened if we'd had a cat. I got him in the end, followed by another five.  But the lady's not for turning.

A hamster?  "Too boring," declared Jamie.

A gerbil? "It's just like a hamster," noted Charlotte.

A guinea pig?  "No," grumped Jamie.

Charlotte said she'd quite like a pet fish.

"What kind of fish?" I enquired.

"A cod," she replied.  "Or maybe a salmon.  We could call her Sally."

At least there wouldn't be a cat around to eat it.

The meeting concluded with the passing of a unanimous resolution to visit the local pet shop for a browse.  A rabbit is now a slight favourite in the betting stakes.  But I'm not yet convinced.  I don't trust rabbits. They hear everything with their big floppy ears and are notoriously indiscreet.

I'll keep you informed.  

Swinging and in pain

We had ourselves a family day out yesterday.

Well, we let them out eventually.

But it wasn't just us Whites who were involved in our pilgrimage to Flamingo Land theme park in North Yorkshire. Hell no.

Below left you can see Jamie and Charlotte's daredevil cousin Holly, the bravest junior lady I've yet encountered.

She was the most delighted balloon occupant when the basket eventually rose high into the air.

And she was even more thrilled after joining cousin Oliver at the front of this ride, known as Kumali.

I mean, look at the size of it.

Holly's dad, Jonathan, was almost as brave sitting a few rows behind.

And perched as far back as you could go was Uncle Barry, having just been to the gents.

My problems began early after the ride lady viciously slammed the metal harnessy thing right onto my poorly shoulder, before locking me in like a sweary sardine.

Then it was time to begin the slow ascent to the top of the ride, the bit I hate most.  It probably took about 30 seconds, but felt like most of my adult life.

And then this.

Honestly, it was brutal.

Jamie and Charlotte thought I was very brave.  They'll find out eventually.

Flash Dad

One of those golden moments this morning when both Jamie and Charlotte were packed off to school together for the first time; Jamie into year three, Charlotte to reception.

Well, I say together. Charlotte doesn't actually start officially until later this afternoon as she and her fellow mini-inmates begin the process of "settling in."  But she was determined to go along with Jamie in all her new garb before returning home.  In fact, last night she insisted on sleeping au naturel so she could slip into her uniform as soon as she woke up.

St Oswald's C of E Primary School will be their new home for the next few years after a bit of a rejig of education places in Guiseley.  And the look and feel of everything there so far has been more than positive.

Of course, when you're new somewhere, it's always good to seek to create a positive impression - and that includes the parents.

After coiffuring Jamie for what seemed like hours this morning - Vanessa "did" Charlotte - I climbed into a pair of sensible trousers and put on a shirt, just so I didn't let the siblings down.

And when we arrived at the playground, I spend the next 15-20 minutes smiling manically at all and sundry with teachers at the head of my mental queue.

It was only as I walked back out the school gates that I realised my zip had been open all along.

Tomorrow, whatever the weather, I think it's best not to turn up in a long plastic coat.

A final flog of the Turkish horse

Almost 48 hours after arriving home from Turkey, I finally feel strong enough to talk about it.

Honestly, coming back from holiday is always a big ordeal for.

And the hardest part of all?  Passing beaming, pasty-faced new arrivals - either in the hotel lobby or at the airport - who are about to steal our fun.  I. Hate. You. All.

More positively, we did conclude our week-long trip on a series of highs.

Above you can see the audience selfie taken after Sunday's final show.  We're in there somewhere.

I dad danced all night and my calf muscles continue to grumble as a result.

Afterwards Charlotte got to meet her new stage heroine, Jess, the female lead.  

Ms White insisted on it after male lead "Smithy" (below centre) posed for a pic for me.

We also had a photo with the charming Pickthalls, our new friends from Milton Keynes, who we look forward to seeing again soon.

And then we stopped off for a final nightcap before bed.

Jamie was wise enough to stay on soft drinks as he was booked in for a climbing session the following morning.

The low point of the week?

Undoubtedly Vanessa's failure to win the star prize - a Russell the Brussel tee shirt - in Saturday evening's quiz.

And the highlight?

No question, my karaoke performance of "Forever in Blue Jeans" on the first night.

Sadly it was only a highlight for me.