Something new happened last night, something I'll not forget for a very long time. Let me explain.Vanessa bought a breast pump on Friday, a very handy piece of equipment which allows her to express two feeds worth into bottles each day and stick them in the fridge for later.
This has allowed us to adopt a slightly different routine over the last couple of nights in which she gives Jamie a feed at about 7.30/8 and then I take over, giving him his final change and feed at about 10.30/11.
This worked well on Friday and Saturday but then last night I was a little late in getting my act together as Top Gun was showing on Sky One - you just forget how good that film is.
Anyway, by the time I got to my post at about 11.15, Jamie was beginning to kick off. I'd had my wash and was running around in just a pair of boxer shorts when I thought I'd better do something quick.
So I shoved a bottle of Vanessa's finest into a jug of hot water before flinging Jamie on to the changing mat in preparation for the quickest nappy change in history.
Sitting on the floor with my legs out in front of me, I swiftly whipped off his nappy and turned to my right to grab the cotton wool. Suddenly there was suddenly an almighty noise followed by the shock of something warm running down the inside of my leg.
I couldn't have! How embarrassing!
Well no, I hadn't.
Instead, Jamie had projectile pooed with the greatest possible accuracy - straight up my boxers and all over my, well, you know, "man" bits.
Given that his screaming was getting ever worse, I had to just stick to the plan and finish changing him before quickly retiring to the bathroom to change myself. Very undignified.
Thankfully the bottle feed went well immediately afterwards.
Perhaps I'll start the process a little earlier tonight.
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