Arctic Roll? Think Arctic hole

We've seen a lot in recent years of food products, once popular in the 1970s, 80s and early 90s but which then vanished, suddenly re-appearing back in the shops.

Think Spangles, Monster Munch and, most recently, Wispas. (Apparently there are no plans to bring back Rancheros, which I regard as little short of a national scandal).

And whilst most of these blasts from the past appear to have got smaller in the intervening years (or perhaps I've just got bigger), they tend to taste as good as ever.

It was with this in mind that I excitedly picked up an Arctic Roll from Asda the other day. I haven't seen Arctic Roll for years and, no doubt, neither have you - because they've only re-started making it after a gap of well over a decade.

I've since looked into its history in some depth (the nights can be very long when you've got a kid) and did you know that, during Arctic Roll's heyday in the 1980s, makers Bird's Eye used to sell more than 25 miles of it each and every month? No? Now you do.

Anyway, so I got my chocolate Arctic Roll out of the freezer last night, sawed a slice off the end, gave it a couple of minutes to defrost and then had a bite.

And what was the verdict?

Well, I'll put it like this. Apparently you don't find penguins in the Arctic (go to the Antarctic and you're in business) but there are loads of polar bears.

My chocolate Arctic Roll tasted (and looked) like something that could well have emerged from a polar bear's "hind quarters."

Don't buy Arctic Roll.