I felt like I needed a bit of extra excitement in my life last night so, just as Vanessa was about to open the fridge to begin preparations for a full-on kitchen storm, I pounced.
"No dear, stop right there," I boomed.
"Because tonight we shall be having pizza."
I then expected her to tell me to shut up and go and take something to the bin (or such like).
But no. To my immense surprise - I still can't quite believe it now, if truth be told - she replied: "OK." Marriage really can be a roller coaster of adventure.
Still a little shocked that I was allowed to order a pizza, I decided to chance my arm just that little bit further.
"They have an offer on at Domino's at the moment, oh love of my life," said me (or something to that effect).
"It's called Two for Tuesday and you get two pizzas for the price of one. Sounds marvellous. Shall we go for that?"
"Uh.....s'pose so," replied my flower. (It was nice to see her so happy).
"And, I know, let's do something really different," said me again. "Why don't we order them online?!"
"Whatever," said my precious other half, before heading into the living room to read a newspaper and have a scratch.
So I did order them online - but the excitement didn't stop there. It just increased.
As soon as my order went through, the following appeared on the screen of my PC.
Do you see what they did there?! "Being Prepared." Our pizzas. Come on - you can't beat that!
So, naturally, I decided I'd better stay in front of my screen in case there were any hitches.
Five minutes' more staring later, and - you'll like this - there were "In [The] Oven." WOW!!! I could almost visualise the pizzas - our pizzas - in my mind. I don't think I'd previously experienced such huge anticipation. Ever.
So I stared at the screen for another ten minutes. And guess what? In fact, don't bother - I'll show you!
Yes, our pizzas were "On The Road." WOO-HOO!
This, of course, sparked a huge flurry of activity in our house (from me - Vanessa was still scratching). I had to get (non-alcoholic) drinks and kitchen roll sorted out. Would I have time, though? I would be lying if I didn't admit to a slight rising in my tension levels, but I was determined to see this job through.
In the end, I need not have worried. I was able to complete my preparations inside five minutes (good going, I think you'll agree), leaving a further ten minutes for me to stare at my screen for any developments - before the Domino's pizza man suddenly arrived at our front door.
The pizzas themselves were excellent but, again, I let the tension get to me a little. What if the status of our order changed mid-meal? What if Domino's HQ needed to get an urgent message to us whilst we were munching?
In the end, I couldn't cope and interrupted my pizza-eating twice just to check what the screen was saying.
The first time I looked, our pizzas were apparently still "On The Road" - plainly an error because, by now, most of them were inside us.
But the second time, I got the good news:
"Completed." I could enjoy my last slice in peace.
I wonder what we'll do tonight.
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