With just a week of General Election campaigning left to go, you may have thought you had heard enough "exciting," "bold" and "innovative" ideas from politicians to last you a lifetime.
But no, because the Monster Raving Loony Party have just published their manifesto and, I have to say, some of their policies are worthy of serious consideration by whoever does end up running our lives after May 6th.
For example, they have proposed introducing a 99p coin to "save on change." Apparently, this pledge also appeared in their 2005 manifesto but, according to party leader Howlin' Laud Hope, "no-one noticed it then, so we're still shouting about it now." Quite right too.
Other suggestions - individual candidates can pick from an extensive list or choose their own - include:
- All socks to be sold in packs of three as a precaution against losing one
- Self-responsibility to be banned on health and safety grounds
- Making it illegal for superheroes to use their powers for evil
- Change the English symbol of three lions to three badgers
- The House of Commons Speaker to be replaced by the latest audio equipment
- All forms of greyhound racing to be outlawed to stop the country going to the dogs
And my personal favourite, "ban all terrorists from having beards as they look scary." That should spoil Gerry Adams' breakfast.
Howlin' Laud Hope says he has had a "wonderful" reaction to his own campaign in Witney so far, where he is challenging Conservative Leader David Cameron, and hopes to keep his deposit.
However, his party has warned that, if he gets that many votes, he is obviously "not loony enough" and will have to leave.
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