My plans won't turn to Ashes



The Ashes are due to begin in just a few hours from now, and it's going to be a huge test of endurance. 

For me. 

Since Jamie was born almost two and a half years ago, I reckon Vanessa and I have had to get by on an average of six hours' sleep per night.

But over the next couple of months, my grand plan is to sleep for about four and a half hours, as follows: the cricket starts at midnight, lunch is at 2am, I hit the scratcher, and then rise again at no later than 6.30am to see the end of play.

Genius.

There is one complicating factor in the tiny form of baby number two, which is due to arrive in the middle of the Third Test. 

However, this game will be the only one of the five where play begins at 3am rather than midnight. 

My already brilliantly thought through solution for then will be to heroically volunteer to do the middle-of-the-night feed - I reckon 3am might be a good time for that - and then see how long mini-he/mini-she and I last in front of the telly.

Even more genius.

And clearly, each of my carefully formulated strategies will proceed without a single hitch between now and 6 January 2011 when the series is due to end.

No, really.