Tuesday 2 October 2012

What a performance

Northern Ireland folk will be very well aware of the life and times of notorious loyalist terrorist Michael Stone; those of you not fortunate enough to come from there may not.

In you are in the latter category, I can advise you that Michael Stone is a very bad man who in 1988 was jailed for 638 years for a series of offences including three murders.

However, following the signing of the Good Friday Agreement, he was released on licence in July 2000.  A surprising development for many, but this is Northern Ireland we're talking about.

Unsurprisingly, the egotistical/bonkers Mr Stone did a series of bizarre things over the next few years until, on 24 November 2006, he went on a day trip to the Northern Ireland Assembly at Stormont. 

He didn't arrive empty-handed, bringing with him an imitation pistol, three knives, a garrote, an axe and just the nine bombs. The purpose of his little visit was to murder Sinn Fein leaders Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness. He immediately had his release licence revoked and was ordered to serve the remainder of his original 638 year sentence. 

But here's the thing. 

In court, Stone's lawyer claimed on his behalf that the Stormont incident was not intended to endanger the life of anyone. "It was, in fact, a piece of performance art replicating a terrorist attack", he said.  Of course it was. Which was why the judge described his defence as "hopelessly unconvincing" - before sending him down for another 16 years. 

And why do I tell you all of this?  Well, because Jamie was naughty this morning by getting up too early and refusing to go back to sleep. 

I grilled him about his poor behaviour on the way to school this morning, to which he replied: "I wasn't being a bad boy, because I'm not a bad boy.  I was just pretending to being a bad boy."

So another of performance art, then.  

I haven't yet decided on Jamie's punishment, but grounding him for 16 years might be a touch harsh.  Perhaps I'll take away his chocolate stash for a day or two.