We've now been in our Portugese parallel universe for precisely a week and have three nights left.
(Just to prove the regular strangeness of the place, they've just starting playing the American national anthem on the poolside PA system).
To be fair - and this might sound like guff - but I do think we'll be ready for Blighty come this Friday. The kids are wrecked, my liver is crying foul and Vanessa is talking health kicks. None of these developments are positive.
The problem with all-inclusive is that's it's there, it's paid for and it won't be there next week (when we'll still be paying for it in one way or another).
And with that, Sweet Child O´ Mine by Guns N´ Roses starts to blast out. Which reminds me, I'd better go and check on Charlotte......
She's doing a bit of drawing with a group of kids who don't speak Yorkshire. Or Ulster for that matter, the Londonderry and Donegal contingents having gone home yesterday.
A quiet day is planned for today after we pretty much burned the candle at both ends over the past couple of nights.
We headed into the Old Town on Sunday evening where drink was taken.
Followed by an unconventional taxi home.
Then yesterday we returned to Zoomarine to do all the things we weren't organised enough to squeeze in last week.
These included the sea lion show.
The dolphin show, always a favourite.
And just to remind us that we're somewhere foreign, we were encouraged to point and laugh at a bearded midget in a dress.
I'll probably miss him most when we leave.
We've also reached souvenir time.
Jamie plumped for a stuffed bald eagle which he's chosen to christen Squaky.
Whilst Charlotte chose one of those yappy mechanical dogs which I've taken it upon myself to name Annoying Little F*cker.
I hope it gets the mange.
So that's how things stand in Albufeira as lunchtime approaches this Tuesday afternoon.
I'll probably check in with you one last time before departure because I know how you worry.