My mum was over visiting before Christmas and kindly presented us Whites a new four-slot toaster. You can see it being modelled above, in the retro-style of The Price Is Right, by Wee John.
I'd go as far as saying that it's changed my life.
There are four Whites, you see, meaning a toast slot is simultaneously available to us all.
But there are other more subtle advantages that come with ownership of this revolutionary piece of kitchen kit.
Let me tell you about just one.
Charlotte and I often enjoy a Saturday morning bacon sandwich, as we did again today. When you're a two-slice toaster family and two bacon sandwiches are required, one of you can have hot toast but the other is forced to have it cold if your bacon is all cooked at the same time. But those of us with access to a four-slicer have the luxury of being able to serve two bacon sandwiches at the same piping temperatures at the precise same time.
I honestly can't believe I've managed to reach this stage of my life devoid of a four-slot toaster. For me, it's the future - my future (and occasionally Vanessa's when she can be arsed to walk to the bread bin) - and I would strongly encourage you to join me on the adventure. It's quite literally pop-up joy for all.
FOOTNOTE: It's wet and windy outside and I'm bored. I hope that wasn't immediately apparent as you read today's thoughts.
