Red is obviously the colour everyone associates with Valentine’s Day. So it was strangely fitting that, yesterday, I bled all over a lobster.
It was my own fault, really. I was trying to be posh and it just didn’t work.
Like last year (I tend not to be very original), I offered to make Vanessa a flash meal and, for 2010, chose lobster and venison as my weapons of choice.
I actually bought the lobsters from Asda weeks ago when they had an offer on (yes, every expense spared). But it was only yesterday that I realised I had absolutely no idea how to open them to get the meat for my lobster and noodle surprise. And when I downloaded some pictures from t’Internet to show me how to do it, I quickly realised that you’re supposed to use a nutcracker - and we don’t have one.
I therefore had little option but to improvise by way of the butt of a kitchen knife and my hands – and promptly lacerated my right thumb in two places. (You’ll be impressed / relieved to learn that, being an old-fashioned gent, I did wash my blood off the few bits of fish I managed to dig out before feeding them to the wife).
So I’ll not be buying lobster again.
And neither shall I be purchasing any more venison.
Why? Because it just tastes like liver. Maybe it was my untrained palate or, just possibly, it was because I overcooked it. But I wasn’t impressed. So no more deer for me, dear.
I hope your Valentine’s Day activities were more successful than mine.
It was my own fault, really. I was trying to be posh and it just didn’t work.
Like last year (I tend not to be very original), I offered to make Vanessa a flash meal and, for 2010, chose lobster and venison as my weapons of choice.
I actually bought the lobsters from Asda weeks ago when they had an offer on (yes, every expense spared). But it was only yesterday that I realised I had absolutely no idea how to open them to get the meat for my lobster and noodle surprise. And when I downloaded some pictures from t’Internet to show me how to do it, I quickly realised that you’re supposed to use a nutcracker - and we don’t have one.
I therefore had little option but to improvise by way of the butt of a kitchen knife and my hands – and promptly lacerated my right thumb in two places. (You’ll be impressed / relieved to learn that, being an old-fashioned gent, I did wash my blood off the few bits of fish I managed to dig out before feeding them to the wife).
So I’ll not be buying lobster again.
And neither shall I be purchasing any more venison.
Why? Because it just tastes like liver. Maybe it was my untrained palate or, just possibly, it was because I overcooked it. But I wasn’t impressed. So no more deer for me, dear.
I hope your Valentine’s Day activities were more successful than mine.
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