Snot responsible behaviour

I'm so embarrassed.

I dropped Jamie off at nursery about 20 minutes ago and, just a few yards from the front door of our destination, Jamie sneezed.

Without thinking, I did what all parents instinctively do when their kid sneezes - I checked his face for snot. Thankfully, we had an all-clear.

But just as I was physically pushing the door open, he did it again. And this time we were not so lucky.

He looked like he'd been caught in the cross-fire of a slime fight.

I held the door open with my knee whilst trying to pull a tissue out of my trouser pocket.

But there was no tissue.

I had committed the cardinal schoolboy error when your sprog has a cold - I forgot to tissue-up.

So what to do?

Parents and staff were coming in and out and I was going to look like a smeggy parent (plus Jamie wasn't exactly looking at his best either).

I quickly pulled his hood up to cover his face and bolted through the door towards a dark corner near the stairs.

I then wiped his face as best I could with my bare hand, and got rid of most of the snot.

The only problem was, I now had a one white hand and one green one.

I would normally have wiped it on my own clothes (self-sacrifice has become a new aspect of my character over the last year and a half) but I'm off to work in a minute and am wearing a suit. And I couldn't wipe it on my son - that would just be wrong.

And whatever I did decide to do, I had to do it soon because I could hear more parents coming up the drive.

So, in the end, there was only one option open to me.

I wiped it on the carpet - before stripping his coat off, dumping him in "Toddler Two" and making a break for freedom.

Please don't tell anyone.