I went to see my “self-service” doctor yesterday in an attempt to sort out the sinusitis problem which has been giving me headaches for the last few days.
I say “self-service” because she’s not very good – hence why it’s not difficult to get an appointment at short-notice – and, through experience, I’ve found the best way to get anything done is to use self-diagnosis and self-prescription. She certainly never examines you (or me, for that matter) and I genuinely doubt if she even owns a stethoscope.
To illustrate, yesterday’s visit went something like this.
Barry: “Good afternoon doctor, and how are you?”
Doctor: “I’m fine, and how are you?”
Barry: “Well doctor, I’ve got sinusitis. In fact, I’ve been to see you twice about this previously. I think a course of amoxicillin should do the trick – five days, not seven, as things normally begin to improve after about 36 hours. However, given that I have had this problem before, I think it might be sensible for you to refer me. I was actually referred by another GP 10 years ago when I lived in London, and was sent for surgery. But when I went along for the operation – I had my slippers and pyjamas and everything with me in my little bag – the consultant decided against it. I never found it why. So perhaps it’s time for someone else to have a look. Entirely up to you, of course, doctor.”
Doctor: “OK, here’s your prescription for a five-day course of amoxicillin. And, after retrieving the notes from your previous GP, I’ll refer you. You won’t have to come back here – you’ll just get a phone call.”
Barry: “Thank you doctor, much appreciated.”
Doctor: “Next!”
My mum always wanted me to be a doctor.
I say “self-service” because she’s not very good – hence why it’s not difficult to get an appointment at short-notice – and, through experience, I’ve found the best way to get anything done is to use self-diagnosis and self-prescription. She certainly never examines you (or me, for that matter) and I genuinely doubt if she even owns a stethoscope.
To illustrate, yesterday’s visit went something like this.
Barry: “Good afternoon doctor, and how are you?”
Doctor: “I’m fine, and how are you?”
Barry: “Well doctor, I’ve got sinusitis. In fact, I’ve been to see you twice about this previously. I think a course of amoxicillin should do the trick – five days, not seven, as things normally begin to improve after about 36 hours. However, given that I have had this problem before, I think it might be sensible for you to refer me. I was actually referred by another GP 10 years ago when I lived in London, and was sent for surgery. But when I went along for the operation – I had my slippers and pyjamas and everything with me in my little bag – the consultant decided against it. I never found it why. So perhaps it’s time for someone else to have a look. Entirely up to you, of course, doctor.”
Doctor: “OK, here’s your prescription for a five-day course of amoxicillin. And, after retrieving the notes from your previous GP, I’ll refer you. You won’t have to come back here – you’ll just get a phone call.”
Barry: “Thank you doctor, much appreciated.”
Doctor: “Next!”
My mum always wanted me to be a doctor.
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