Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Why doesn't someone really go in style?

The newspapers continue to rave about how excited the nation apparently is by the week-long 50th anniversary celebrations down Coronation Street way, during which several members of the cast are due to meet a gruesome end.  

Now, I like Corrie but, I have to say, I haven't been that impressed with the storyline thus far. 

For one, the £1 million tram-falling-off-the-viaduct stunt looked like something from the original Star Wars movie i.e. a plastic toy and a bit of clever camera work. 

Second, it took an eternity for the police and fire brigade to arrive  - I distinctly remember someone calling 999 on Monday and yet they only rocked up just after 7 o'clock this evening, which is Wednesday. 

And thirdly, it's all just a bit too drawn out for my liking.

However, tomorrow, events are primed to reach their dramatic conclusion with a special hour-long live episode. 

Which brings me to my evil genius point. (OK, scratch the genius).

Few of us in this world will ever have the opportunity to achieve legend status, but tomorrow one or more Coronation Street cast members will be presented with the chance to do just that. 

The theme of the week's episodes is "Four Funerals and a Wedding," meaning we can expect four characters to receive their P45s at some point before 9pm tomorrow night. 

And they're not all going to die instantly, oh no.  You can be absolutely certain that at least one of them is going to be lying under a bit of rock or something and someone will say to them all emotionally, "Are you alright?!"

And, according to the script, they will be expected to whimper back that they love their husband/wife/lover/kids or whoever - and then cark it. 

But what if - WHAT IF -  just for the fun of it, instead of doing their deathly duty, they instead reply "Yep, I'm fine thanks" before getting up and walking away with a big smile on their face? 

They're going to be sacked anyway.  So why not go with a bit of glory in front of 20 million people - and guarantee never having to buy their own drink in the outside world ever again?  It would be hilarious.

However, as I say, it's but a mere evil genius thought.             

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