Forget Mad Monk - meet Mad Mother

So, what sort of day did have you have?

Mine was OK-ish. Did a day's work, made it back just in time for my latest physio appointment, Vanessa's in London so I've just got Jamie off to sleep and now it's time for baseball, beer and steak. Actually, on reflection, it'll have been quite a good day by the time I get to bed.

And then there's been my mum's day.

She was thrown out of Russia.

Accompanied by her partner Derek, she set off early on Saturday morning for a trip to the fjords, which I always understood to be in Norway. However, for some reason, according to the text she sent me on Saturday afternoon, the two of them ended up in Stockholm.

I texted back: "Are you sure you're in Stockholm?"

To which she replied: "Yes, Derek's sitting beside a big sign which says Stockholm so I think it is."

Then, yesterday, she texted me again to say she was in Russia. Do they have fjords in Russia? No doubt I'll find out when she comes back.

So we fast forward to this afternoon when my phone beeped again to herald the arrival of another text message from my mother, and this was what it said:

"They chucked us out of Russia!"

I kid you not.

I quickly felt the need to sit down before, on partially regaining my composure, demanding to know (fairly obviously):

"WHY?!!"

A couple of minutes later, my phone beeped again with her response:

"Because of your political connections!"

Now I was confused, verging on concerned.

"Tell me more..." I replied.

There was a delay of a good half hour before her next text took her off on a complete tangent.

"We were in a palace where Rasputin lived and was murdered."

(Told you). So, I tried again:

"AND?!"

Another delay, this time of about four and a half hours until a short while ago, when her last message arrived:

"Sorry, I keep losing signal. It must be the satellite."

And that's as much as I know.

Needless to say, I'll keep you informed on developments although, if you hear anything on the news, do feel free to pass it on to me.

PS I don't THINK she's a spy (but, there again, would a "good" spy tell you if they were?)