Jamie Says No

I indulged in a bit of infant exploitation/fun first thing this morning.

Jamie had woken up in a bad mood and was indulging in his latest fad: saying "no!" to everything.

In recent days it's been a steady stream of negatives - "no milk!" (before having milk), "no bath!" (before having his bath), "no tea!" (before having at least some of his tea). You kind of get the idea.

This morning he was running round shrieking "no milk!" when I decided to invent a brand new game, simply entitled "Jamie Says No."

And the rules were very simple; I would ask him if he wanted something or if he was going to do something, and he would shout "no!" followed by whatever it was he wasn't having or doing.

So I began with, "are you going to have fun today?"

"No fun!" came the response.

"Are you going to get dressed?"

"No dressed!"

OK, thought I, let's test his morals.

"Do you want war?"

"No war!" (Bono would have been proud).

"Do you have hope?"

"No hope!"

"Do you want a future?"

"No future!" (Morrissey ditto).

And we finished up with a bit of Ulster politics.

"Jamie, Dublin rule," I began. "Do you want Dublin rule?"

"No Dublin rule!" I was filled with pride.

But the best was left till to last.

"Do you want to surrender?"

"NO SURRENDER!"

Good boy.