The door bell rang at about 7.20 this morning and I bounded down the stairs to find our friendly postman waiting for me, parcel in hand.
I signed where indicated before turning the item over to see if the sender's name was written on the back. It was: "Big Rod, London Town."
"Big Rod" is so known only to himself.
To the rest of us, he's simply "Rodney." Rather like Prince, Madonna, Kylie or Godzilla, one word is suffice to put his large head to his moniker.
We worked together when I also lived in London Town and have remained friends ever since. He was Groomsman/Master of Ceremonies at our wedding three years ago and did OK. (Some people said he was good but there were a lot of drunks at our wedding).
One reason he got away with it was he's a barrister who specialises in keeping people out of jail. As you might therefore expect, he can talk. But don't be fooled into thinking he talks any sense. He doesn't. He talks absolute rubbish but he's skilled at making it sound good, which is why he's so sought after in his chosen profession.
He's also a man with political ambitions and stood against Ian Paisley at the 2005 General Election, picking up 6,637 votes with only a four-week campaign. This was a surprise as I previously wasn't aware there were 6,637 people in North Antrim who could spell "X."
I haven't seen Rodney since April when he very generously bought Vanessa and I dinner the night after I ran the London Marathon. And I'm not due to see him again until October when I go down to watch the mighty Ulster rugby team play Harlequins in the Heineken Cup. I'll probably buy him a packet of Bacon Fries at the game to make sure we're even.
He lives near Waterloo Station with the lovely Firuza (pictured) who clearly could do better. Thankfully Firuza's positive influence and taste was clearly demonstrated by the two lovely little outfits for Jamie contained in this morning's parcel.
However, the need for her to have an even greater role in his life was evident in the rude card that accompanied them, together with the message:
"Congratulations on two children now Vanessa. Best wishes, Rodney & Firuza."
So that my friends is Rodney - Barrister-at Law, likely future Member of Parliament and modern day village idiot.
Jamie can't wait to meet him.