A rule for them and a rule for them

This is my pal Carson. And tonight Carson, from Belfast, was a victim of discrimination.

Earlier, I met him and our mutual friend Diane for a catch-up drink in Bradford city centre.

All three of us had had a couple of snifters, and it was my turn to go to the bar.

Diane, who was driving, chose to refrain on my round (good girl). And Carson decided on a vodka and Coke.

"Good evening," said me to the bar woman (I'm not sure they do maids in Bradford). "Can I have a vodka and Coke and a pint of Guinness, please?"

"Certainly, sir," she replied (I'm not convinced they do sirs either, but she had a go). "And who is the vodka and Coke for?"

"Sorry?" said me, a little bemused.

"Who is the vodka and Coke for?" she continued. "The lady or the gentleman?"

"Well, it's somewhere in between," I muttered back. "It's for my friend Carson, who's a gay gentleman."

"Right," responded the bar women. "£5.60."

"And what would it have been if he wasn't a gay gentleman, may I ask?" as one would.

"£3.80," said she. "It's ladies night, you see. If he were a lady, he could have had his drink for £1. But he's not, he's a gay. And we don't have a special rate for them. Perhaps we should."

Especially when I'm paying.